{"id":1138,"date":"2008-09-19T00:45:38","date_gmt":"2008-09-19T08:45:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1138"},"modified":"2008-09-19T00:47:18","modified_gmt":"2008-09-19T08:47:18","slug":"you-can-put-valentino-on-a-pig","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/you-can-put-valentino-on-a-pig\/","title":{"rendered":"You Can Put Valentino on a Pig…"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a><\/p>\n But it’s still Sarah Palin! Poor Valentino, how awful that Mrs. P chose one of his pieces to make her national debut in. Actually, her stylists<\/a> chose it, to be fair. Earlier, I read that she sometimes goes to an Anchorage charity shop, where she purchased a second-hand jacket by Escada and some Juicy Couture for Bristol.<\/p>\n How telling that Sarah P. would buy used Escada! Ugh!<\/p>\n As CEO of PAP Smear<\/a>, I have been asking myself, “Self, why do you despise this awful woman so passionately?” And the truth is this: I simply hate stupid people. Hate them, with a capital H. Stupid Bible Thumpers, well, I hate them even more. Stupid Bible Thumping Liars, now we’re talking red-hot hatred, a hatred that cannot be denied or contained.<\/p>\n I can’t see Russia from my house, but I can see this photo of Bristol, hacked from Mrs. P’s Yahoo email. And call me crazy but I see Bristol MOCKING BABY TRIG! Ha Ha, good one Bristol!<\/p>\n The ever-increasing horror of this stupid hillbilly family is now disturbing my sleep, and that’s not good for my mental health. Last night, I tossed and turned for hours, my inflamed frontal lobe generating Palin family names like Tigger, Prior, Blistex, Tic Tac, Toll Bridge, Tagger, Willing, Wallow, Trick of Treat……<\/p>\n In the end, I discovered that I’d forgotten to take my Ativan.<\/p>\n Tomorrow, let’s discuss why The First Dude hasn’t spoken up yet. Can he talk? Does he lisp? Is he a castrato<\/a>? Let’s find out!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" But it’s still Sarah Palin! Poor Valentino, how awful that Mrs. P chose one of his pieces to make her national debut in. Actually, her stylists chose it, to be fair. Earlier, I read that she sometimes goes to an … Continue reading