{"id":11717,"date":"2016-11-25T21:26:06","date_gmt":"2016-11-26T05:26:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=11717"},"modified":"2016-11-26T23:00:05","modified_gmt":"2016-11-27T07:00:05","slug":"thanksgiving-epiphanies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/thanksgiving-epiphanies\/","title":{"rendered":"Thanksgiving Epiphanies"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a><\/p>\n First, let me assure you that this won’t be about stuff I’m thankful for.<\/p>\n Although on Thanksgiving, I actually announced that I’m thankful for not being a dwarf. No offense to the dwarf community.<\/p>\n Otherwise no, not thankful, I’m too depressed for that kind of thinking.<\/p>\n My train of thought is very morbid lately, to the point that while sitting and watching TV one night, I imagined someone shooting me right between the eyes and it felt just and appropriate.<\/p>\n So in this state, I attended a Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, at a local hotel.<\/p>\n I crafted the structure in the photo above, and that’s the first epiphany: Playing with food is fun and satisfying and I need to do more of it.<\/p>\n The second epiphany came later, hours after I had expounded on the JonBenet Ramsey murder and a more obscure and horrible<\/a> true-crime story.\u00a0 It was after a discussion of how to debone rats. and a review of various cable TV shows that caused an outbreak of senility and confusion around the table about which was which.<\/p>\n So a loved one was recounting the reasons for a failed friendship that she was still mourning. After trying to be insightful, I added: “but what do I know, all my friends hate me.”<\/p>\n This led to someone noting that I was too aggressive in “interrogating” people. Whoa! I thought, this isn’t what I expected! I do like to ask questions, and I am persistent. I think of myself as having a lot of curiosity, but not actually obnoxious in my expression of interest.<\/p>\n I turned to another loved one and asked, “Do you think this about me??” And he said, “Well, I will say that you don’t like to leave well enough alone.”<\/p>\n So now, stoned and drunk as I was, I felt as though a curtain had been pulled away, to reveal that even the people who love me can’t stand me. I felt hurt and defensive.<\/p>\n I admitted that I don’t like to leave well enough alone. Why should I?? I thought and also said aloud.<\/p>\n My husband appeared and it was time to go home. I burst into tears as soon as we were outside. I explained that everyone hated me and as always, he was sweet and comforting as well as amused.<\/p>\n Epiphany #2 is: Don’t get yourself in a position to hear what people don’t like about you. Stay far away from that. It’s a road you don’t need to travel.<\/p>\n Epiphany #3 is: Even believing that the trait I most define as “Me” is exactly what people hate, I would never work on changing my behavior.\u00a0 Ever. So now I realize that my stubbornness is even more Me than that other shit.<\/p>\n NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES ME!<\/p>\n Epiphany #4 would be better if I had a photograph, but here it is: If you take five pats of butter and stand them in a group at certain intervals, you can balance a mini pumpkin on them!<\/p>\n It’s something about the distribution of weight that men seem to instinctively understand. I didn’t believe it would work, but my pretend-niece’s husband proved me wrong. It was a moment I will treasure forever.<\/p>\n So how was your Thanksgiving? Anything to report?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" First, let me assure you that this won’t be about stuff I’m thankful for. Although on Thanksgiving, I actually announced that I’m thankful for not being a dwarf. No offense to the dwarf community. Otherwise no, not thankful, I’m too … Continue reading