{"id":11717,"date":"2016-11-25T21:26:06","date_gmt":"2016-11-26T05:26:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=11717"},"modified":"2016-11-26T23:00:05","modified_gmt":"2016-11-27T07:00:05","slug":"thanksgiving-epiphanies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/thanksgiving-epiphanies\/","title":{"rendered":"Thanksgiving Epiphanies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"thanksgiving<\/a><\/p>\n

First, let me assure you that this won’t be about stuff I’m thankful for.<\/p>\n

Although on Thanksgiving, I actually announced that I’m thankful for not being a dwarf. No offense to the dwarf community.<\/p>\n

Otherwise no, not thankful, I’m too depressed for that kind of thinking.<\/p>\n

My train of thought is very morbid lately, to the point that while sitting and watching TV one night, I imagined someone shooting me right between the eyes and it felt just and appropriate.<\/p>\n

So in this state, I attended a Thanksgiving dinner with my extended family, at a local hotel.<\/p>\n

I crafted the structure in the photo above, and that’s the first epiphany: Playing with food is fun and satisfying and I need to do more of it.<\/p>\n

The second epiphany came later, hours after I had expounded on the JonBenet Ramsey murder and a more obscure and horrible<\/a> true-crime story.\u00a0 It was after a discussion of how to debone rats. and a review of various cable TV shows that caused an outbreak of senility and confusion around the table about which was which.<\/p>\n

So a loved one was recounting the reasons for a failed friendship that she was still mourning. After trying to be insightful, I added: “but what do I know, all my friends hate me.”<\/p>\n

This led to someone noting that I was too aggressive in “interrogating” people. Whoa! I thought, this isn’t what I expected! I do like to ask questions, and I am persistent. I think of myself as having a lot of curiosity, but not actually obnoxious in my expression of interest.<\/p>\n

I turned to another loved one and asked, “Do you think this about me??” And he said, “Well, I will say that you don’t like to leave well enough alone.”<\/p>\n

So now, stoned and drunk as I was, I felt as though a curtain had been pulled away, to reveal that even the people who love me can’t stand me. I felt hurt and defensive.<\/p>\n

I admitted that I don’t like to leave well enough alone. Why should I?? I thought and also said aloud.<\/p>\n

My husband appeared and it was time to go home. I burst into tears as soon as we were outside. I explained that everyone hated me and as always, he was sweet and comforting as well as amused.<\/p>\n

Epiphany #2 is: Don’t get yourself in a position to hear what people don’t like about you. Stay far away from that. It’s a road you don’t need to travel.<\/p>\n

Epiphany #3 is: Even believing that the trait I most define as “Me” is exactly what people hate, I would never work on changing my behavior.\u00a0 Ever. So now I realize that my stubbornness is even more Me than that other shit.<\/p>\n

NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES ME!<\/p>\n

Epiphany #4 would be better if I had a photograph, but here it is: If you take five pats of butter and stand them in a group at certain intervals, you can balance a mini pumpkin on them!<\/p>\n

It’s something about the distribution of weight that men seem to instinctively understand. I didn’t believe it would work, but my pretend-niece’s husband proved me wrong. It was a moment I will treasure forever.<\/p>\n

So how was your Thanksgiving? Anything to report?<\/p>\n

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First, let me assure you that this won’t be about stuff I’m thankful for. Although on Thanksgiving, I actually announced that I’m thankful for not being a dwarf. No offense to the dwarf community. Otherwise no, not thankful, I’m too … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[9,321,6],"tags":[475,723,1062,736],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-32Z","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11717"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11717"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11717\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}