{"id":1176,"date":"2008-09-28T23:41:15","date_gmt":"2008-09-29T07:41:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1176"},"modified":"2008-09-29T13:00:33","modified_gmt":"2008-09-29T21:00:33","slug":"new-reviews-of-movies-i-havent-seen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/new-reviews-of-movies-i-havent-seen\/","title":{"rendered":"New Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen [updated w\/ gerbil]"},"content":{"rendered":"

My Best Friend’s Girl<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is a godawful romantic comedy that grates on the nerves and delivers another worthless performance by Kate Hudson in the role of a smiley airhead\/vixen. Dane Cook is predictably repellent as the wise-cracking love-interest. The plot is familiar and the dialogue runs the gamut from excruciating to enraging. The only point of interest is the question of why Kate Hudson keeps getting paid to make movies that tank. Why can’t she go away and leave us the fuck alone?!<\/p>\n

Nights in Rodanthe<\/strong><\/p>\n

Here are Richard Gere and Diane Lane paired again after making that thriller where she cheats on him with a yummy foreign guy. This time, love blossoms between Gere and Lane just when they’ve given up hope of ever finding Mr\/Ms. Right! The romantic locales and the surging soundtrack provide the perfect background for these two glamorous Botox addicts to show how much they can fake emotion. \u00a0 But where is the gerbil?? Expect laughter and tears from the desperate spinsters in the audience. Only see this movie if you need to take your mom somewhere for a couple of hours.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Body of Lies<\/strong><\/p>\n

Leonardo Dicaprio turns in another impressive performance as a haunted man with conflicting loyalties. Leo runs around trying not to get killed as he attempts to sort out the truth about something. Russell Crowe is the perfect foil for Leo, in a role that shows how different he looks when he changes his hairstyle. It’s a battle of wits as Leo and Russell fight against the clock to come to a concluding chase scene that will have you saying “No wonder Leo gets all those supermodels!” As Imelda Matt writes, “….a wankfest!”<\/p>\n

The Women<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is a debacle that will make you thankful for your own face when you get home and look in the mirror. A terrible excuse for a chick movie, The Women is a pathetic stab at revamping the career of Med Ryan, featuring a bunch of actresses you don’t care about except for Eva Mendes, just a little bit, because she hasn’t made you detest her yet. Give her time. Do not even think of renting this movie when it comes out on DVD unless you want to contemplate killing yourself.<\/p>\n

*NOTE: I canceled the Weekend Festival of Hate in order to maintain my hatred-level for PAP Smear<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"