{"id":12291,"date":"2017-05-28T00:02:25","date_gmt":"2017-05-28T07:02:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=12291"},"modified":"2017-05-28T00:03:27","modified_gmt":"2017-05-28T07:03:27","slug":"a-terrifying-sale-at-net-a-porter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/a-terrifying-sale-at-net-a-porter\/","title":{"rendered":"A Terrifying Sale at Net-a-Porter!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-patent-cape.jpg?ssl=1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12292\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-patent-cape.jpg?resize=460%2C851&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"851\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-patent-cape.jpg?w=460&amp;ssl=1 460w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-patent-cape.jpg?resize=162%2C300&amp;ssl=1 162w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 460px) 100vw, 460px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><strong>Net-a-Porter<\/strong> sent me a sale update, saying they just added 300 new items. Many of these items are insanely ugly. Did they suddenly just decide, &#8220;Hey, let&#8217;s get rid of this shit too, it&#8217;s now or never&#8221;?<\/p>\n<p>This <strong>Balenciaga<\/strong> cape is reduced to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.net-a-porter.com\/us\/en\/product\/884883\/Balenciaga\/patent-leather-hooded-cape\">$5, 492<\/a> and here&#8217;s their story:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Demna Gvasalia explores the link between couture and fetishism for Balenciaga&#8217;s Spring &#8217;17 collection. Cut from ultra glossy patent-leather, this enveloping cape is bonded with smooth Spandex and finished with a hood. Layer it over jeans and a sweatshirt or create the exact runway look with the label&#8217;s blouse and pants.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I think not. Can you believe it comes in sizes, like the fit matters? Behold the rear view.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-rear.jpg?ssl=1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12293\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-rear.jpg?resize=420%2C630&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"630\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-rear.jpg?w=420&amp;ssl=1 420w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-rear.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 420px) 100vw, 420px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>If you can wait until Halloween, you can replicate this at Walmart for around $2.99.<\/p>\n<p>What about these <strong>Prada<\/strong> boots to go with it? Also among the new sale items.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/prada-boots-870-sale.jpg?ssl=1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12295\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/prada-boots-870-sale.jpg?resize=490%2C735&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"490\" height=\"735\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/prada-boots-870-sale.jpg?w=490&amp;ssl=1 490w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/prada-boots-870-sale.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 490px) 100vw, 490px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>Oh my god, the fucking horror, WHY?! Let them explain:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Prada&#8217;s velvet boots are part of the Fall &#8217;16 runway collection, which is inspired by the vagabond woman. They have a glossy red leather wedge heel that&#8217;s embellished with a gold anchor, comets and a flower &#8211; we love the contrast with the hiking-style laces. Wear yours as the designer intended with these argyle socks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>NO. Never. Not even at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.net-a-porter.com\/us\/en\/product\/760878\/Prada\/embellished-velvet-boots\">$870<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s wrong with these designers? Have they been fired yet? Take my advice and go straight to Net-a-Porter, it&#8217;s beyond your worst fashion nightmare, a very special treat for the serious connoisseur of aesthetic gaffes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Net-a-Porter sent me a sale update, saying they just added 300 new items. Many of these items are insanely ugly. Did they suddenly just decide, &#8220;Hey, let&#8217;s get rid of this shit too, it&#8217;s now or never&#8221;? This Balenciaga cape &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/a-terrifying-sale-at-net-a-porter\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12292,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[644,170,722],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/balenciaga-patent-cape.jpg?fit=460%2C851&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-3cf","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12291"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12291"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12291\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}