{"id":1285,"date":"2008-10-30T22:46:12","date_gmt":"2008-10-31T06:46:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1285"},"modified":"2008-10-30T22:46:12","modified_gmt":"2008-10-31T06:46:12","slug":"bristol-palin-held-captive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/bristol-palin-held-captive\/","title":{"rendered":"Bristol Palin Held Captive"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/poor-bristol.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1286\" title=\"poor-bristol\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/poor-bristol.jpg?resize=500%2C333\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been wondering where the Republicans have been hiding poor Bristol, and now I know. They&#8217;re hiding her on buses and planes, along with her sister, the very hot and soon to be impregnated WIllow Palin.<\/p>\n<p>Wasn&#8217;t Bristol supposed to be finishing high school? Oh well, who needs schoolin&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>Why isn&#8217;t Bristol allowed to appear with Mrs. P? I just read that Mrs. P brought little Piper onto the Hockey rink where they were booed, in the hopes that no one would boo at a little girl! Mrs. P admitted this, so I guess she still doesn&#8217;t think it&#8217;s wrong to exploit her children.<\/p>\n<p>Bristol, when your mom turns her back, run like the wind! Actually, make sure you get Trig first, so he can grow up with his real mom.&nbsp;\u00a0 Don&#8217;t bother with that dummy Levi. Let your mom have him, he might come in handy later.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s another nice picture from the McCain Palin tour, with Grandpa enjoying a midget as Cindy looks on, praying for a chance to take some Oxycontin.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/grandpa-and-midget.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1287\" title=\"grandpa-and-midget\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/grandpa-and-midget.jpg?resize=500%2C333\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been wondering where the Republicans have been hiding poor Bristol, and now I know. They&#8217;re hiding her on buses and planes, along with her sister, the very hot and soon to be impregnated WIllow Palin. Wasn&#8217;t Bristol supposed to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/bristol-palin-held-captive\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[8],"tags":[424,337,426,399,418,425],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-kJ","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1285"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1285"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1285\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}