{"id":13054,"date":"2018-07-28T22:02:22","date_gmt":"2018-07-29T05:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=13054"},"modified":"2018-07-28T22:02:22","modified_gmt":"2018-07-29T05:02:22","slug":"advanced-denim-appreciation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/advanced-denim-appreciation\/","title":{"rendered":"Advanced Denim Appreciation"},"content":{"rendered":"

Only a seasoned brand-whore would think of spending $1,375<\/a> for these awful jeans by Brunello Cucinelli<\/strong>. Your friends would have to be able to recognize the designer, who<\/p>\n

operates from a restored 14th century castle in Solomeo, Italy (in fact, he restored the entire village). The line has expanded beyond the initial coveted cashmere to include designs for men and women<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
to justify the expense. Otherwise, people would just assume you were a homeless person wearing a factory reject from Sears. For $1,375, you get the following:<\/p>\n
\n
\n
\n
Drawstring waistband.<\/li>\n
Patch pockets with monili trim.<\/li>\n
Back button pockets.<\/li>\n
Relaxed fit.<\/li>\n
Tapered, wide legs.<\/li>\n
Pull-on style.<\/li>\n
Cotton.<\/li>\n
Made in Italy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
I don’t know what monili trim is, and I don’t care. I do know that for normal humans under 75, an elastic waist on jeans is the kiss of death.<\/p>\n
A newer, more fashion-forward brand is Sacai<\/strong><\/a>, who really brings it with these distressed high rise boyfriend jeans.<\/p>\n
$\"advanced$ <\/a><\/p>\n
These were $855<\/strong> but now reduced to just $256.50. So much bang for your buck, I hardly know where to begin.<\/p>\n
Part of the brand’s Spring ’18 collection, these boyfriend jeans are cut from substantial denim. They’re thoroughly deconstructed: from the asymmetric paneling to the mint-lined rips, to the gathered puffs of fabric that peek out from under the cuffs.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
What does “mint-lined rips” mean? I see there’s something swashbuckling or piratey going on here, and that’s not a plus. Here’s how it looks on a model:<\/p>\n
$\"advanced$ <\/a>So much attention to extraneous detail! Do these jeans say, “Hey, I’ve got money!” or “Please forgive me?”<\/p>\n
This next pair makes me sad. First, because DUH, and second, because Escada<\/strong><\/a> has been over for years and years but won’t let go. It’s time, Escada. Pull the plug.<\/p>\n
$\"advanced-denim\"$ <\/a>God. “Live Laugh Love.” On your jeans. I want to cry.<\/p>\n
In case you bought these but you worried that people might overlook your statement, you could spring for the coordinating t shirt.<\/p>\n
$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n
Live, laugh, eat, pray, be your best self.\u00a0 Just don’t broadcast it, for fucksake.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Only a seasoned brand-whore would think of spending $1,375 for these awful jeans by Brunello Cucinelli. Your friends would have to be able to recognize the designer, who operates from a restored 14th century castle in Solomeo, Italy (in fact, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13061,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[328,800,644],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/sacai-II.jpg?fit=490%2C735&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-3oy","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13054"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13054"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13054\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13054"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13054"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13054"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}