{"id":1318,"date":"2008-11-12T01:58:51","date_gmt":"2008-11-12T09:58:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1318"},"modified":"2008-11-12T01:58:51","modified_gmt":"2008-11-12T09:58:51","slug":"poor-pipers-pickled-peppers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/poor-pipers-pickled-peppers\/","title":{"rendered":"Poor Piper’s Pickled Peppers"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh dear, I thought I had my rant all in order until I checked out the Huffington Post<\/a> just now. While Mrs. P prepared scrumptious mooseburgers for the family, Little Piper was walking around in high heels under her bootleg pants. Not mommy’s shoes, since they appeared to fit her nicely. Is this child abuse, or am I thinking about the fake Louis Vuitton handbag?<\/p>\n

Either way, something’s not right. Poor little Piper admits that campaigning with her mom was really hard. When asked by Matt Lauer<\/a> if she’d like mommy to run again in 2012, Piper doesn’t know. When mommy prompts her in a scary fake voice, Piper corrects herself. Sure, she’d love it!<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Trig is passed around like a hot potato, giving everyone in the kitchen a chance to show how nice it is to share the family mascot. Don’t drop him, Piper!<\/p>\n

Earlier today, I watched the interview with whatshername, that Fox TV woman with the frozen face. Mrs. Palin scoffs at the bad press she’s received, blamin’ those bloggers<\/a> who are “probably sittin’ in the basement of their parents’ home, wearin pajamas<\/strong>.”<\/p>\n

Haha, Sarah, you nut! You must be thinkin’ of Wayne’s World. Lots of us Mean Bloggers have our own homes, and we’re wearing some ugly Sass and Bide Rats or maybe something from Neiman Marcus that we bought with our own Neiman Marcus card!<\/p>\n

And then, she defends herself about the shopping extravaganza, saying the money had to cover clothes for eight people. So let’s see. Five kids, one husband. Oh! She must be including Levi, who wore a suit to the RNC and then went back to shit-kicking in the Ozarks or wherever.<\/p>\n

Wasn’t I silly to think we’d get some relief from this motor-mouthed fruitcake?! Tomorrow, it’s Larry King, who will be rendered totally helpless when she winks at him.<\/p>\n

Ugh! I hope Oprah hangs tough about banning Mrs. Palin from her show. Let’s all write to Oprah<\/a> right now, begging her to stay the course.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"