{"id":13560,"date":"2019-03-14T02:18:34","date_gmt":"2019-03-14T09:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=13560"},"modified":"2019-03-14T02:18:34","modified_gmt":"2019-03-14T09:18:34","slug":"why-are-they-torturing-me-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/why-are-they-torturing-me-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Are They Torturing Me? Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I think about the internet and how it has distorted the reality of day to day life, first I think about social media. Nothing matters unless it can be documented, or liked. Every\u00a0 few hours, a gigantic wave of rage erupts on Twitter, all aimed at someone who crossed an invisible line with a thoughtless comment, or maybe an R. Kelly type figure who serves as a scapegoat for all the seething self-hatred that can never be examined or depleted, since it regenerates with every moment of inaction toward Facebook for selling your personal data and reminding you what you posted last year.<\/p>\n

Next I think of all the time it has robbed from me, time I could spend doing anything offline, like clean the house or engage with a person face to face, not to mention generate my own thoughts. In the last two days, I have learned about Swedish preschools, rehab statistics, Japanese phonemes<\/a>, Tucker Carlson’s misogyny, maternal infection and autism, restaurants that accommodate fat people, and the challenges faced by Uniqlo. This is just a small fraction of what I’ve consumed while sitting anxiously at my computer, wondering how I can find out everything about everything before it’s too late.<\/p>\n

Do you do this? Maybe you don’t have the time, or if you do, you use it more constructively. Me, I don’t know how to discern what’s useful or important from garbage. I’m trying to resist the temptation to click on the worst crime stories, with some encouraging results. I did read about the little girl stuffed in a suitcase, and I read the comments on the mother’s fb page, calling her a piece of shit, etc. I already know not to click on the secrets of productive people or the truth about diets. That’s just instinctive knowledge. I’m not an idiot, after all. I’m just a person who has forgotten how to be present in my own life.<\/p>\n

With all my desperate hunting and pecking online, I would have missed something noteworthy if it hadn’t been forwarded to me: the harrowing writing of Patricia Lockwood, who describes her own descent into internet lunacy<\/a>, and it is terrifying. I don’t want to end up too immersed in online culture to find my way out. I’m not sure if there’s an antidote to the damage it’s done to my attention span and short-term memory.<\/p>\n

Maybe blogging isn’t really writing or communicating. I’m not sure. I need to think it over.<\/p>\n

Thoughts, anyone?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"