{"id":13683,"date":"2019-05-08T17:42:59","date_gmt":"2019-05-09T00:42:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=13683"},"modified":"2019-05-09T19:12:19","modified_gmt":"2019-05-10T02:12:19","slug":"met-gala-2019-exegesis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/met-gala-2019-exegesis\/","title":{"rendered":"Met Gala 2019 Exegesis"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Worst ever, obviously. And time to end this stupid event since there’s nowhere to go from here. Poor Anna Wintour<\/strong> wouldn’t know “camp” if Kim Kardashian’s butt<\/strong><\/a> read the dictionary definition aloud to her. The Met Gala is itself an exercise in camp. It could only improve on it’s ignorance by making next year’s theme “Classy.”<\/p>\n

The red (actually pink) carpet was a nightmare of awfulness. Who were stupider, the celebrities who aimed for camp or the ones who ignored the theme entirely? You tell me.<\/p>\n

My vote for biggest moron is Demi Moore<\/strong>, who clearly thought Fuck you, I’m elegant, I look younger than my daughters, just look at my hair extensions and facial work!<\/p>\n

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Most repulsive, Kim K<\/strong>, flaunting a greasy-looking distorted body and a houseboy wearing black streetwear. The other members of her family wore clown outfits appropriate to their stations in life.<\/p>\n

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Most delightful goes to Cardi B<\/strong>, whose tribute to Rihanna<\/strong>‘s yellow omelette dress<\/a> looked like a gigantic cartoon of a blood cell. I loved her total commitment to the look, which included a bathing cap-like head covering. Most pitiful attempt at oneupsmanship was Nicki Minaj<\/strong>, who looked like a blob of pink pork laced into a pink ruffly tarp.<\/p>\n

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Lady Gaga<\/strong> takes the award for most needy, with Katy Perry<\/strong> a close second. Jared Leto<\/strong> wins the GO AWAY FOREVER prize with his stupid Gucci robe and severed head. Gucci designer Alessandro Michele<\/span><\/strong> also must go away, pleeeeeeeeeease Kering<\/strong><\/a>!<\/p>\n

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Emily Ratajkowski<\/span><\/strong> was the most Almost Naked (big surprise). Celine Dion<\/strong> was so close to most tragic that I hate to take it away from her. She gave it her all, including a peek at her crotch area.<\/p>\n

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But Harry Styles<\/strong> is my pick for Most Tragic, wearing his grandma’s sheer black negligee with a deer-in-the-headlights expression and a gratuitous dangly earring.\u00a0 He probably thought he was being all Mick Jagger but instead he was Anna’s Bitch.<\/p>\n

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Meanwhile Anna herself chose a beautiful gown and feather cape, opting for straight up couture and leaving the lampshade hats to her guests. Thank you Anna, next!<\/p>\n

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Worst ever, obviously. And time to end this stupid event since there’s nowhere to go from here. Poor Anna Wintour wouldn’t know “camp” if Kim Kardashian’s butt read the dictionary definition aloud to her. The Met Gala is itself an … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,2,8],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/celine-dion-tragic.jpg?fit=500%2C748&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-3yH","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13683"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13683"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13683\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13702,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13683\/revisions\/13702"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}