{"id":13843,"date":"2019-07-23T23:51:08","date_gmt":"2019-07-24T06:51:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=13843"},"modified":"2019-07-24T16:39:07","modified_gmt":"2019-07-24T23:39:07","slug":"these-boots-are-made-for-_______","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/these-boots-are-made-for-_______\/","title":{"rendered":"These Boots Are Made For _______?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/r13-hawaiian-cowboy-boots-with-legs-hideous.jpg?ssl=1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13844\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/r13-hawaiian-cowboy-boots-with-legs-hideous.jpg?resize=500%2C730&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"730\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/r13-hawaiian-cowboy-boots-with-legs-hideous.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/r13-hawaiian-cowboy-boots-with-legs-hideous.jpg?resize=205%2C300&amp;ssl=1 205w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>The apocalypse? A bonfire?<\/p>\n<p>Fuck!<\/p>\n<p>Just like you, I&#8217;m filled with dread about everything but it would be wrong to overlook these boots. I mean, Jesus Christ. They are <strong>Hawaiian Printed Ankle Half Cowboy Boots!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>How can this even be?! Only R13 could have come up with this, and then ask for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shopbop.com\/hawaiian-printed-ankle-half-cowboy\/vp\/v=1\/1532566343.htm?folderID=60033&amp;fm=other-shopbysize-viewall&amp;os=false&amp;colorId=1409B\">$1,895<\/a>! Here are the listed details:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Leather: Cowhide<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Studded harness detail<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Boots<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Chunky heel<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Buckle at ankle<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Pointed toe<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Leather sole<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Made in Italy<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>This item cannot be gift-boxed<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Cannot be gift-boxed&#8221; for $1,895??? I don&#8217;t think so.<\/p>\n<p>And how could they forget to list SPIKES for fucksake?<\/p>\n<p>If any footwear deserved to die, it is these boots. I mean <em>half boots<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The apocalypse? A bonfire? Fuck! Just like you, I&#8217;m filled with dread about everything but it would be wrong to overlook these boots. I mean, Jesus Christ. They are Hawaiian Printed Ankle Half Cowboy Boots! How can this even be?! &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/these-boots-are-made-for-_______\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13845,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[94,614,644,80],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/r13-hawaiian-cowboy-boots-small.jpg?fit=500%2C539&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-3Bh","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13843"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13843"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13843\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13848,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13843\/revisions\/13848"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13843"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13843"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13843"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}