{"id":1421,"date":"2009-01-03T01:25:27","date_gmt":"2009-01-03T09:25:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1421"},"modified":"2009-01-03T01:25:27","modified_gmt":"2009-01-03T09:25:27","slug":"the-cracker-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-cracker-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"The Cracker Problem"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tonight, an observant teenage visitor pointed out that we have a lot of crackers. There are six boxes of crackers on top of the fridge, and two more behind that you can’t see in this photo.<\/p>\n

This is clearly a problem. Why does a small family need so many boxes of crackers? Is it because we fear a cracker shortage? Are we stocking up for a famine? Or does someone in the house just like to amass crackers?<\/p>\n

I personally am not in charge of procuring crackers. We can’t blame me for this one. But I’ve just done an inventory of my nail polish and counted 35 bottles.<\/p>\n

Hoarding leads to clutter, and clutter leads to chaos. If you take your hoarded clutter and relocate it, stacking it or piling it but not reducing it, you are just “churning,” in the language of hoarding studies. I keep trying to get the crap off the coffee table, but mostly I end up organizing it into neat groupings of crap.<\/p>\n

I am thinking of getting a book<\/a> called “Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding.<\/strong>” \u00a0 It sounds great. I like the title of the third chapter, “How did this happen<\/strong>?”<\/span><\/p>\n

How indeed? My house looks more and more like a thrift shop. It’s a place of female hoarding and male hoarding. Meaning, tons of CDs and electronics, and tons of guitar magazines, along with tons of girlie shit. Tons of pop culture memorabilia. I can see from where I sit the vast collection of Little Golden Books that I read to my firstborn, 30 years ago. But they’re so cute! So full of tender memories!<\/p>\n

I wouldnt dream of making a resolution or even a pledge. I just want to get this crap under control. Then I’ll feel better about acquiring some new crap.<\/p>\n

I know I am not alone in this cycle of buying, hoarding, churning, and paralysis. It would be nice to know where “collecting” ends and “Hoarding” begins. Are they the same?<\/p>\n

I will be praying for deliverance to Saint Marie, the new patron saint of Hoarding Crap. You can pray to her here<\/a>. But don’t tell her that I just ordered a new pair of ankle boots to not wear with my leather dress. In fact, don’t tell anybody.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"