{"id":14248,"date":"2020-03-01T16:02:37","date_gmt":"2020-03-02T00:02:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=14248"},"modified":"2020-03-02T02:12:49","modified_gmt":"2020-03-02T10:12:49","slug":"hideous-denim-now-its-personal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/hideous-denim-now-its-personal\/","title":{"rendered":"Hideous Denim: Now It’s Personal"},"content":{"rendered":"

$\"\"$ <\/a>On my way into a Nordstrom<\/strong> dressing room, I grabbed this denim jacket that was hanging near the entrance. Just trying to amuse myself, although my actual selections were nearly as awful and inappropriate. The salesperson who unlocked the fitting room door was decked out in eye-bruising psychedelic prints, with some crazy glittery Converse shoes.<\/p>\n

I praised the shoes and he said they were a collaboration with “a designer named JW Anderson.” He seemed shocked that I knew the designer. Was it because I’m a hundred years old? Or because I was holding this hideous, $250 piece of shit from Topshop<\/strong>??<\/p>\n

If you are what you wear, a lot of people are not only nuts, but blind too. I was happy to get this photo but it’s safe to say that most hideous denim exists not as private jokes but as genuine bait for the rich and clueless. It just never stops! Year after year, the denim atrocities flood shopping sites and landfills. It’s the one sure thing after death and taxes.<\/p>\n

Here are a few new “pieces” for you to contemplate. If your central aim is to look unattractive, the following will fit the bill:<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a>Classically misconceived shorts by Lowe, featuring the dreaded front pleats, a wide hipped silhouette and an awkward length.$650.<\/p>\n

Or for a few more bucks and equally unflattering, these Natalie Ratebisi high-waisted jeans with darts, pleats and camel-toe, just $725.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a>How about a skirt?<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a>R13<\/strong> never disappoints when it comes to overpriced pseudo-hipster crap. This stretch-denim leopard-print skirt with chewed edges features an asymmetrical crossover waist. How cute with some fake Dr. Martens and an expensive white T? A bargain at $495.<\/p>\n

Now let’s see what the luxury designers are doing with denim, starting with Carolina Herrera.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a>Front slits and self-tie waist-sash make these denim pants a baffling choice for any occasion, right? I mean, what would you wear them with? I just can’t even. $1,090<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Unravel is a horrible upscale brand that’s always trying to punk us with their stupid laughable designs, kind of like Y Project and their denim panties<\/a>. Here’s a key piece for Spring.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a>All the bells and whistles for $1,145. Fuckers.<\/p>\n

Finally, because I’m getting depressed, here’s a jumpsuit by Isabel Marant<\/strong>, the brand that’s supposed to be the essence of French cool-girl style.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a>At least it looks comfortable, except when you have to pee, of course. Just $550\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On my way into a Nordstrom dressing room, I grabbed this denim jacket that was hanging near the entrance. Just trying to amuse myself, although my actual selections were nearly as awful and inappropriate. The salesperson who unlocked the fitting … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14249,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2],"tags":[800,644,336,37],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/nordies-dressingroom-hideousdenim2.jpg?fit=500%2C625&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-3HO","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14248"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14248"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14248\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14268,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14248\/revisions\/14268"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14249"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14248"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14248"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14248"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}