{"id":14769,"date":"2021-07-23T16:41:49","date_gmt":"2021-07-23T23:41:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=14769"},"modified":"2021-07-23T17:49:34","modified_gmt":"2021-07-24T00:49:34","slug":"self-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/self-care\/","title":{"rendered":"Self Care"},"content":{"rendered":"

In advance of International Self Care Day<\/a> on July 24, I’d like to share my own self care routine, which you can modify to your own needs, according to your free time etc etc. Check with your doctor before starting any new exercise!<\/p>\n

I get out of bed after a few hours of nightmares, tossing and turning, and general sweaty discomfort. I stumble to the kitchen to turn on the coffee, and take a cup to the couch, where my phone is. I take my Adderall<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I turn on MSNBC for the liberal-leaning news, and settle in for the next 4 or five hours. At some point, I remember to take my Cymbalta and Welbutrin. While I hear about the latest deranged shenanigans of the Republican party, alarming Covid statistics, geopolitical conflicts and climate catastrophes, I scroll through my Instagram feed, clicking Like and typing “beautiful!” or clapping hand emojis.<\/p>\n

In between liking and clapping, I check my email, deleting billions of shopping site updates and pleas from Eric Holder and Kamala Harris. I dutifully look at the 450 new items at Net-a-Porter, careful not to miss a single offering.<\/p>\n

Periodically, I get up to pee and inspect my hair situation. Is it nice and smooth or a frizzy rat’s nest? I squirt saline in my nose in a doomed attempt to clear my sinuses and breathe.<\/p>\n

In the afternoon, I get dressed and wander around the house, wondering what to do and why I’m even alive. I might go grocery shopping or to the mall, where the endorphins of commerce lift my spirits enough for me to charge something at Nordstrom that I will return in the next few days.<\/p>\n

Back home, I continue with the news and scroll Instagram some more. I consult the mirror a few more times to evaluate my hair and wonder if there’s a way to get a neck-lift without getting a neck lift.<\/p>\n

I walk the dog for 20 minutes or just let my husband do it.<\/p>\n

After dark, I smoke some weed and wait for him to make dinner. My husband, not the dog. We watch TV while we eat, starting with our favorite shows and ending with some poorly written and laughably performed garbage about missing girls and homophobic Spaniards.<\/p>\n

Finally, I shuffle off to bed, take a teeny bit of Ativan, and read a novel, preferably something dark and devastating, until my eyes start to close.<\/p>\n

There you have it. It’s challenging, sure, but you can do it. I forgot to note all the cups of coffee, the scrupulous avoidance of water, and the chips and salsa. They are actually essential to my wellness program.<\/p>\n

What are you<\/strong> doing for self care?? I really want to know, but I will deduct points for the words yoga mat<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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