{"id":1484,"date":"2009-01-26T18:33:35","date_gmt":"2009-01-27T02:33:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1484"},"modified":"2009-01-26T18:33:35","modified_gmt":"2009-01-27T02:33:35","slug":"the-nose-war","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-nose-war\/","title":{"rendered":"The Nose War"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s a little rubber nose on my kitchen floor, just to the left of the fridge. It’s been there for around 10 days. I don’t know how it got there, I only know that I bought it in a little packet of rubber body-parts from Borders, at least a year ago. They were creepy but cute, and cost around two bucks.<\/p>\n

(I put a quarter next to the nose for size comparison.)<\/p>\n

Anyway, the nose is in plain sight, but NO ONE WILL PICK IT UP!<\/p>\n

It occurred to me that it would be fun to see how long it stays there. In other words, I’ve decided to leave it there as a test for my husband, who normally hastens to tell me what’s wrong in the kitchen. Then, it occurred to me that my husband must be leaving it there on purpose, too, to test ME! He’s probably thinking, I’ll see how long that slob leaves that nose on the floor, and eventually I’ll draw her attention to it and say “Look what a lazy slob you are, this has been on the floor for — days, bla bla bla!”<\/p>\n

I’ve pointed out the nose to my kid, who said “I was wondering why that was there,” and I told him I was conducting a test. But I like how he had no intention of picking it up, either. The apple doesn’t \u00a0 fall far from the tree, eh?<\/p>\n

God, marriage is fun.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"