{"id":15282,"date":"2023-02-06T22:58:53","date_gmt":"2023-02-07T06:58:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/?p=15282"},"modified":"2023-02-06T22:58:53","modified_gmt":"2023-02-07T06:58:53","slug":"grammy-awards-2023-exegesis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/grammy-awards-2023-exegesis\/","title":{"rendered":"Grammy Awards 2023 Exegesis"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Beyonce-Lizzo.jpg?ssl=1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15288\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Beyonce-Lizzo.jpg?resize=550%2C550&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"550\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Beyonce-Lizzo.jpg?w=550&amp;ssl=1 550w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Beyonce-Lizzo.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Beyonce-Lizzo.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 550px) 100vw, 550px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Okay, let&#8217;s get Madonna out of the way (as if we could!) Why can&#8217;t she see what we see? Where are the loved ones who care enough to caution her about her face? I&#8217;m pretty sure she doesn&#8217;t want to be pitied or laughed at. Right? But her surprise appearance revealed a gigantic blowfish of a face, with crazy milkmaid braids and a slit skirt revealing a stocky old leg in fishnet stockings. At one point, she even snapped at the audience, &#8220;You&#8217;re supposed to applaud here.&#8221; Let&#8217;s hope she doesn&#8217;t trouble us again until 2024.<\/p>\n<p>It was a suspenseful showdown between <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/beyonce-and-the-scream\/\"><strong>Beyonce<\/strong><\/a>, Harry Styles, and Adele for Best Something. Album, record, I can&#8217;t remember. Bey won two awards, breaking a record for Grammys won, and she gave a humble speech with gratitude to god and her parents. Her dress was awful but at least not see-through this time. If I note that her boobs have grown with her fame, people will be mad at me, so I won&#8217;t do that.<\/p>\n<p>Harry Styles performed in a tinsel shroud, and looked genuinely shocked when he won the award that Beyonce wanted.<\/p>\n<p>Adele won an award for &#8220;Go Easy on Me&#8221; and thanked her son (I think.) She was thinner than ever and had an adorable fangirl meeting with The Rock, who looked like a massive Oscar Award.<\/p>\n<p>That stupid <strong>Steve Lacey<\/strong> performed his hit song that made one wonder anew at his popularity. He has zero charisma, can barely sing, and looks like he just woke up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Brandy Carlile<\/strong> pretended to be a rockstar but worse, she was introduced by her wife and kids, in a nod to LGBTQ inclusivity. No heterosexual artist was moved to display his\/her spouse. She sometimes wears cool suits, but not this time.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stevie Wonder<\/strong> was fantastic, performing a raucous &#8220;Higher Ground&#8221; to the delight of the black people in the audience. Can we stop letting white people attend the Grammys? They can&#8217;t even clap on the right beat.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tay2023outfit.jpg?ssl=1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15289\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tay2023outfit.jpg?resize=450%2C675&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"675\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tay2023outfit.jpg?w=450&amp;ssl=1 450w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tay2023outfit.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Speaking of white people, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/redscarepod\/comments\/10nzhdc\/taylor_swifts_hunchback\/\"><strong>Taylor Swift<\/strong><\/a>, the whitest person on earth, wore a a boring sequin two piece outfit that Bob Mackie wouldn&#8217;t give the time of day to. As always, she insisted on &#8220;dancing&#8221; in the audience, to show that she is just a fun girl after all. She didn&#8217;t perform or present anything, a huge win for me personally.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lizzo<\/strong> was her usual vivacious self, performing with a bunch of huge back-up women and exuding a joy that is hard to resist, even for me. I still think she is way too fat because I&#8217;m not blind and there is such a thing as too thin and too fat.<\/p>\n<p>Also fat, but horribly full of himself was the new<strong> Sam Smith 2.0<\/strong>. Recreating himself as a sex-crazed diva, he arrived with a crew of gender fluid creatures dressed in blood red gowns with weird vampire makeup. His performance was deeply disturbing. He is no L<strong>il Nas X<\/strong>, alright? I officially never want anything to do with him.<\/p>\n<p>Best new artist went to <strong>Samira Joy<\/strong>, a woman with a beautiful voice who I plan to learn more about. Yay for beautiful voices!<\/p>\n<p>A salute to 50 years of Hip Hop was mostly great, even though I&#8217;m too lame to know most of the artists. At least they seemed authentic and in the moment when they performed.<\/p>\n<p>What else? <strong>J Lo and Ben<\/strong> sat near she stage, so we were treated to his dour expression and her attempts to look like she was enjoying herself. Lose him, J Lo. It&#8217;s going to be exhausting to keep his spirits up.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tems-vw.jpg?ssl=1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15290\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tems-vw.jpg?resize=412%2C618&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"412\" height=\"618\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tems-vw.jpg?w=412&amp;ssl=1 412w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tems-vw.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 412px) 100vw, 412px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>As for fashion, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=tQiNQL-FEgU\"><strong>Tems <\/strong><\/a>(above) looked gorgeous in Vivienne Westwood, <strong>Cardi B<\/strong> looked great in a blue avant garde ensemble, <strong>Pharrell Williams<\/strong> was pimpin hot in red leather and fur, <strong>Laverne Cox<\/strong> looked amazing in black and gold faux-croc, <strong>Miguel<\/strong>, who is actually <em>really<\/em> talented, wore an awful faded denim get up, and even though I can&#8217;t stand her, <strong>Doja Cat<\/strong> wore a great black latex gown with matching gloves.<\/p>\n<p>There was a big finale featuring a bunch of rap artists sitting at huge table piled with a million pounds of fruit. <strong>Jay-Z<\/strong> rapped furiously about either god or himself, I couldn&#8217;t tell, but it seemed good. DJ Khaled ruins everything but not this.<\/p>\n<p>Okay? Sorry it was so blah but it&#8217;s not my fault! let me know if I forgot anything.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Okay, let&#8217;s get Madonna out of the way (as if we could!) Why can&#8217;t she see what we see? Where are the loved ones who care enough to caution her about her face? I&#8217;m pretty sure she doesn&#8217;t want to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/grammy-awards-2023-exegesis\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15288,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,2],"tags":[471,1036,1000,17],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Beyonce-Lizzo.jpg?fit=550%2C550&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-3Yu","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15282"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15282"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15282\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15292,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15282\/revisions\/15292"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15288"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}