{"id":1566,"date":"2009-02-17T20:35:55","date_gmt":"2009-02-18T04:35:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1566"},"modified":"2009-02-17T20:35:55","modified_gmt":"2009-02-18T04:35:55","slug":"travis-the-chimp-rip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/travis-the-chimp-rip\/","title":{"rendered":"Travis the Chimp: R.I.P."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/travis-the-chimp.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-1567\" title=\"travis-the-chimp\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/travis-the-chimp-150x150.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Whenever chimps go on a rampage, nobody wins. Poor <a href=\"http:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/2009\/02\/17\/travis-the-chimp-shot-dea_n_167527.html\" target=\"_blank\">Travis the Chimp<\/a> was shot to death by a policeman after attacking a friend of his lifelong owner. But that&#8217;s not the whole story.<\/p>\n<p>Earlier in the day, Travis annoyed his owner by grabbing her car-keys and trying to drive her car. She tried sedating him with Xanax but he wouldn&#8217;t calm down. She called a friend to come over and help. When the friend arrived, Travis went nuts, biting her in the face and hands. The owner was so distressed that she stabbed Travis with a kitchen knife, but that didn&#8217;t stop him, so she called 911.<\/p>\n<p>When the cop arrived, Travis went out to the police car and tried to open the door. He loved policemen, apparently. The cop shot Travis several times. Travis fled and managed to retreat to his cage, where he died.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know who is to blame for any of this shit, but it wasn&#8217;t Travis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Whenever chimps go on a rampage, nobody wins. Poor Travis the Chimp was shot to death by a policeman after attacking a friend of his lifelong owner. But that&#8217;s not the whole story. Earlier in the day, Travis annoyed his &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/travis-the-chimp-rip\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5,8],"tags":[508],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-pg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1566"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}