{"id":1624,"date":"2009-03-09T22:45:29","date_gmt":"2009-03-10T06:45:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1624"},"modified":"2009-03-09T22:45:29","modified_gmt":"2009-03-10T06:45:29","slug":"thank-god-i-hate-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/thank-god-i-hate-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Thank God, I Hate It!"},"content":{"rendered":"

What a relief to find some fur on the runway that I don’t want. These two numbers by Givenchy are repulsive, aren’t they? I’m sure Madonna will show up in one, so I’m already bracing myself. The one on the left looks like the model fought with a gorilla and won. The one on the right looks like the gorilla ate the model but is using her head as a decoy.<\/p>\n

It makes me especially sad to look at these “dresses” because of the new study<\/a> suggesting that chimps can make plans for the future and thus have an autonoetic consciousness. The chimp in question was seen hoarding stones to throw at visitors outside his cage at a zoo in Sweden. He collected the stones when he was calm, anticipating that he’d be pissed off when the zoo opened the next day.<\/p>\n

That chimp is alot smarter than I am. For example, I ate three bags of peanut M&M’s last night, unable to predict that I’d feel fat in the morning. God I am stupid. I don’t even deserve to be in a zoo.<\/p>\n

Getting back to fashion, I am pleased to see that gladiator sandals are back with a vengeance. This means that the hideous gladiator spats I bought last year will be right on-trend, even though I plan to continue to not wear them.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

I’ll bet that chimp would have known not to buy these. I am more and more impressed by him!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"