{"id":1642,"date":"2009-03-15T22:14:17","date_gmt":"2009-03-16T06:14:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1642"},"modified":"2009-03-15T22:14:17","modified_gmt":"2009-03-16T06:14:17","slug":"meet-madonnas-personal-trainer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/meet-madonnas-personal-trainer\/","title":{"rendered":"Meet Madonna’s Personal Trainer!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today I read a thing about Gwyneth’s expensive new gym<\/a> in New York, and her partner\/personal trainer, Tracy Anderson. Tracy is also Madonna’s personal trainer, and she takes credit for creating Madge’s controversial body.<\/p>\n

If you check out Tracy’s website<\/a>, you can see a gallery of photos that highlight her sinewy pelvis. There’s probably something wrong with me, because the lean pelvis looks painfully deprived of flesh AND a little too much like a young boy. Call me crazy.<\/p>\n

Tracy actually looks more like a nice little troll in real life, and that is comforting. But I knew she was a liar after reading that she only lets Madonna lift 3 pound weights. Girl, don’t play us like that! \u00a0 Anyone who’s ever lifted weights knows that is bullshit!<\/p>\n

Tracy likes to pontificate on her fitness philosophy, which includes the promise of looking young until you’re 100. She talks about it here<\/a> and all over the place.<\/p>\n

However, other people like to talk about Tracy. TMZ<\/a> talks about some lawsuits against Tracy, and shared her mugshot.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Other people like to talk about how Tracy ripped them off, here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I was so excited by all this that I went back to Tracy’s website, where if you click on “About Tracy” you will find “A Letter From Tracy,” where she talks about a time in her life full of “bummers.” She whines about being too “trusting” and how she has overcome adversity.<\/p>\n

Yay for Tracy! Now I’m happy. I hope Gwyneth and Madonna know all about the “bummers” but if not, oh well, they’re both as lean as beef jerky, and that’s what matters most!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"