{"id":169,"date":"2006-10-16T19:17:46","date_gmt":"2006-10-17T03:17:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2006\/10\/16\/death-and-lipstick-part-i\/"},"modified":"2017-02-10T14:56:56","modified_gmt":"2017-02-10T22:56:56","slug":"death-and-lipstick-part-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/death-and-lipstick-part-i\/","title":{"rendered":"Death and Lipstick, Part I"},"content":{"rendered":"

My obsessions tend to wax and wane, but for the last few years, two have remained constant: lipstick and death. First, I would like to dwell on lipstick.<\/p>\n

I only buy red lipstick, but the Red Era didn\u2019t start until I was 33 and got divorced. I was upset to find myself a “divorc\u00e9e<\/span>“, a term that always brought to mind a desperate woman wearing tight pants and holding a martini glass. The Divorcee also wore red lipstick, the better to signify her availability (i.e., desperation.)<\/p>\n

In order to confront this image head on, I began wearing vivid red lipstick. If anyone remarked on it, I\u2019d explain brightly \u201cI\u2019m a Divorcee!”<\/p>\n

All that shit is water under the bridge, of course. I am happily married and I\u2019ve never even tasted a martini. But my lust for red lipstick has evolved into what I believe is a true mania. A few days ago, I purchased my billionth red lipstick: a shade called Exces de Rouge, by Guerlain. It\u2019s a little too blue-red but I still like it. I wore it the other day to Neiman Marcus, where I noticed a sales-lady wearing a flaming red lipstick and paid her a sincere compliment. I was actually able to identify the brand and color! If that\u2019s not frightening, I don\u2019t know what is. As we parted, after she praised my own lipstick, she called out in her foreign accent: \u201cRed is my signature color!”<\/p>\n

Well, Foreign Sales-lady, it\u2019s my signature color too. Even though I will never be able to match the perfection of my all-time favorite red lipstick, which was naturally discontinued right after I discovered it, I will continue to buy red lipstick until my dying day. In fact, I wore red lipstick the last time I had surgery, and as I passed out, a nurse told me how pretty it was.<\/p>\n

Here is my shortlist of Red Lipsticks:<\/p>\n

Best Ever, RIP:\u00a0\u00a0 Rouge Velvet<\/strong> by Chanel
\nSecond Best, RIP: Red #22<\/strong> by Chanel
\nMost Pigmented But Drying: Ruby Woo<\/strong> by M.A.C.
\nMost Intense Blue Red: Glam<\/strong> by M.A.C.
\nMost Too Pink: Ignition<\/strong> by Nars
\nMost Fun to Paint on: Rouge Lip Cr\u00c3\u00a8me<\/strong> by Stilla
\nMost Indelible: Rouge Ultime<\/strong> by Bourjois
\nThe Once I Bought Twice By Mistake: Roulette Rouge<\/strong> by Dior
\nMost Rich and Creamy: Aphrodite<\/strong> by Napoleon
\nMost Depressing Smell and Case: Estee Lauder<\/strong><\/p>\n

Next time, we\u2019ll talk about death.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"