{"id":1731,"date":"2009-04-02T20:00:55","date_gmt":"2009-04-03T04:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1731"},"modified":"2009-04-02T20:00:55","modified_gmt":"2009-04-03T04:00:55","slug":"god-save-the-queen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/god-save-the-queen\/","title":{"rendered":"God Save the Queen"},"content":{"rendered":"

I can’t understand anti-monarchist sentiments, when the Queen of England has given us all so much pleasure. I first fell for her in 1982<\/a>, when some guy broke into her bedroom at Buckingham Palace, and she calmly spoke to him for ten minutes until someone came in and rescued her. What a mensch, or whatever you call a woman who can handle shit like this without getting ruffled!<\/p>\n

I also like how she won’t let go of her handbag. This is a woman whose handbag will never, ever be sat upon by some fat bitch at a dinner party. People always like to wonder what she keeps in her bag, but I couldn’t care less. I’d rather know what brand she likes, besides Launer<\/a>. \u00a0 As we all know, Lady Di loved Lana Marx<\/a> bags, and who wouldn’t??<\/p>\n

My brother-in-law received an OBE or MBE from the Queen, who pinned a medal to his coat (unless I dreamt that part…he did show me the medal in its special box, though.) So that makes me feel close to her. Her husband is a different story. Why does he look like a Nazi war criminal? Not that he isn’t a fun person in his own right; here is a list of some of his famous \u00a0 gaffes<\/a>, which tend to be racist in nature. One can only imagine what he said to Her Majesty after their meeting with the Obama’s.<\/p>\n

I like to think she gave him a little smack and replied, “Oh Philip, don’t be a cunt!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"