{"id":1755,"date":"2009-04-06T22:46:40","date_gmt":"2009-04-07T06:46:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=1755"},"modified":"2009-04-06T22:46:40","modified_gmt":"2009-04-07T06:46:40","slug":"the-testament-of-levi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-testament-of-levi\/","title":{"rendered":"The Testament of Levi"},"content":{"rendered":"

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

I know everyone has better things to do than to watch the Tyra Banks show, so let me bring you up to date:<\/p>\n

Levi Johnston is totally screwed.<\/p>\n

Bristol won’t let him see their baby, because she hates Levi’s sister. This, according to the sister, Mercede<\/a>, a worn-out backwoods prom queen-gone-bad type who has Levi’s name prominently tattooed around her wrist. Uh-oh.<\/p>\n

Levi’s mom, Sherry, is not at liberty to talk about her arrest for drug dealing ( “there is a lot of different things that has twists to it,” \u00a0 she explains\t\t\t) but she wants to see her grandbaby! That mean ol’ Mrs. Palin thinks that Levi and his family are White Trash. The nerve of her!<\/p>\n

Levi is thinking he’ll have to sue for custody of baby Tripp. Meanwhile, Mrs. Palin’s sister-in-law just got arrested for burglary<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I now have a bad feeling that Trig is Levi’s baby with Mercede. Don’t pretend you doubt they’ve slept together, either. You know it in your bones.<\/p>\n

Let us not throw the first stone, though! \u00a0 Who among us, et cetera. Apparently, The Testament of Levi<\/a> is an Apocalyptic Text, concerning arrogance. \u00a0 Mrs. Palin should have read it before she set her sights on the White House.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know everyone has better things to do than to watch the Tyra Banks show, so let me bring you up to date: Levi Johnston is totally screwed. Bristol won’t let him see their baby, because she hates Levi’s sister. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[8,11],"tags":[545,405,403],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-sj","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1755"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1755"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1755\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1755"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1755"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1755"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}