{"id":2018,"date":"2009-05-18T17:42:40","date_gmt":"2009-05-19T01:42:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=2018"},"modified":"2009-05-18T17:43:12","modified_gmt":"2009-05-19T01:43:12","slug":"who-the-hell-are-john-and-kate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/who-the-hell-are-john-and-kate\/","title":{"rendered":"Who the Hell are John and Kate?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/whoarethey.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2019\" title=\"whoarethey\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/whoarethey.jpg?resize=419%2C276\" alt=\"whoarethey\" width=\"419\" height=\"276\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/whoarethey.jpg?w=419&amp;ssl=1 419w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/whoarethey.jpg?resize=300%2C197&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 419px) 100vw, 419px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>There are too many names out there, and it&#8217;s getting way too hard to keep up. Who are these John and Kate people who are now having marital problems?<\/p>\n<p>I saw one of them on TV last night, and she was sporting an old school Posh Spice asymmetrical hairdo. What is her point with that, can somebody fill me in? Is she married to a Hawaiian guy, and if so, why? Also, who do they have so many kids? Is it an Octomom kind of deal or just too much fertility drugs?<\/p>\n<p>Also, who is Lauren Conrad? Pictures of her look just like Lindsay Lohan, right? Who is Audrina? Who is Tinsley Mortimer and for the love of god, who is Talor Momsen? I keep seeing these names as though I&#8217;m supposed to know who they are!&nbsp;\u00a0 Oh wait, I know who Taylor Swift is, I think. Is she the girl who plays guitar but can&#8217;t sing?<\/p>\n<p>I know who Heidi Montag is! She married some guy and everyone hates them. (I&#8217;m just proving that I know some of this shit.) And I know that Hayden Panti-something has an enormous head and looks&nbsp;\u00a0 middle aged but is really quite young.<\/p>\n<p>Are all of these people on the same TV series? Why are they all blond? Why do some of them have clothing lines while others don&#8217;t?<\/p>\n<p>Oh no, one more just popped into my head&#8230;Whitney Port or Something Whitley? Make them Staaaaahp, Bethenny!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are too many names out there, and it&#8217;s getting way too hard to keep up. Who are these John and Kate people who are now having marital problems? I saw one of them on TV last night, and she &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/who-the-hell-are-john-and-kate\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,5],"tags":[420,372,221],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-wy","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2018"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2018"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2018\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}