{"id":205,"date":"2006-12-02T17:01:43","date_gmt":"2006-12-03T01:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2006\/12\/02\/lets-think-about-my-colon\/"},"modified":"2007-05-27T20:06:07","modified_gmt":"2007-05-28T04:06:07","slug":"lets-think-about-my-colon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/lets-think-about-my-colon\/","title":{"rendered":"Let&#8217;s Think About My Colon!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"imagelink\" title=\"colonoscopy.jpg\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/12\/colonoscopy.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"image204\" height=\"96\" alt=\"colonoscopy.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/12\/colonoscopy.thumbnail.jpg?fit=640%2C96\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>My mom died from colon cancer, so I had to have a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.gihealth.com\/html\/test\/colonoscopy.html\" target=\"_blank\">colonoscopy<\/a> this week. I also had one soon after she died, and it wasn\u2019t really that bad. The worst part was drinking some horrible, horrible liquid after fasting all day. The taste was so bad, I actually cried. Later, you take a laxative, and then you pretend you\u2019re an old man in Calcutta, dying of dysentery. It\u2019s very realistic.<\/p>\n<p>This time, the problem was that I woke up with a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.migraines.org\/myth\/mythreal.htm\" target=\"_blank\">migraine<\/a> on the day of the procedure. I couldn\u2019t take any Motrin. The fucking migraine ruined the entire experience. My advice is, don\u2019t get a migraine when you\u2019re having a colonoscopy.<\/p>\n<p>The fun part, if you don\u2019t have a migraine, is when you wake up and someone says \u201cEverything\u2019s normal!&#8221; However, I heard a doctor tell an old lady nearby in the recovery area \u201cYou know, you have a very young colon!&#8221; The old lady was naturally delighted.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m mad that no one told me that. Maybe I can get my husband to say it. Anyway, as far as I\u2019m concerned, my colon rules.<br \/>\n<a class=\"imagelink\" title=\"colonoscopy.jpg\" href=\"http:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/12\/colonoscopy.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My mom died from colon cancer, so I had to have a colonoscopy this week. I also had one soon after she died, and it wasn\u2019t really that bad. The worst part was drinking some horrible, horrible liquid after fasting &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/lets-think-about-my-colon\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[9,5],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-3j","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=205"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/205\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=205"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=205"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=205"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}