{"id":2050,"date":"2009-05-20T23:18:34","date_gmt":"2009-05-21T07:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=2050"},"modified":"2009-05-20T23:18:34","modified_gmt":"2009-05-21T07:18:34","slug":"angelina-to-jen-just-kill-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/angelina-to-jen-just-kill-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Angelina to Jen: Just Kill Yourself!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/angie-looks-great-dead.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2051\" title=\"angie at cannes 2009\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/angie-looks-great-dead.jpg?resize=400%2C600\" alt=\"angie at cannes 2009\" width=\"400\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/angie-looks-great-dead.jpg?w=400&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/angie-looks-great-dead.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Each time I see a picture like this, I can feel Jen dying a tiny death, like an oragasm in reverse.&nbsp;\u00a0 Even this close to death from starvation, Angelina is breathtaking.<\/p>\n<p>Swathed in nude chiffon, lips emitting a flourescent glare equal to ten thousand scarlet bordello lanterns, Angelina is a vision from another planet.&nbsp;\u00a0 She is absinthe to Jen&#8217;s glass of milk.<\/p>\n<p>Poor Jen! Imagine the whole world wondering why you don&#8217;t kill yourself? Having to constantly protest that you&#8217;re fine, you&#8217;re great, you couldn&#8217;t be happier?<\/p>\n<p>Angelina is rubbing it in. God bless her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Each time I see a picture like this, I can feel Jen dying a tiny death, like an oragasm in reverse.&nbsp;\u00a0 Even this close to death from starvation, Angelina is breathtaking. Swathed in nude chiffon, lips emitting a flourescent glare &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/angelina-to-jen-just-kill-yourself\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,554],"tags":[288,339],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-x4","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2050"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2050"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2050\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}