{"id":2151,"date":"2009-06-03T23:31:10","date_gmt":"2009-06-04T07:31:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=2151"},"modified":"2009-06-03T23:31:10","modified_gmt":"2009-06-04T07:31:10","slug":"madge-vs-angelina-smackdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/madge-vs-angelina-smackdown\/","title":{"rendered":"Madge vs Angelina Smackdown"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don’t you hate the word ‘smackdown?’ I heard my self say it the other day, without irony, when speaking of Cheney and Obama. So now I’m using it to punish myself. Never again, though.<\/p>\n

So, Forbes has deemed Angelina the “most powerful celebrity” in the world. They explain how they compute power, but it’s too boring to go into here. \u00a0 Madge’s rating is #3.<\/p>\n

How do you think Madge is taking this? The tabloids have reported a feud between the two women, based on their baby collecting. \u00a0 Madge thinks the United Nations work is just stupid, and Angie thinks Madge is a big copy cat with the African Baby Hoarding.<\/p>\n

Oh, those silly tabloids. I like to think that Madge and Angie hate each other MUCH more than that, at a much deeper level. I can’t prove it, but I know it’s true.<\/p>\n

Let’s enjoy this photo of Madge at a polo match the other day. I call this one “Madge Looking For Her Dick.” God, what the hell is wrong with this woman? She should wear a fucking burka and spare us the horror.<\/p>\n

Now, I love Angie as much as Brad does, but this picture kind of threw me.<\/p>\n

$\"MANY$ <\/a><\/p>\n

I already knew about the nose-job, but where is her top lip?? I want those lips to be real, and I even argue about them with my sister, who insists they are augmented. \u00a0 My best argument is, Who would get such unnaturally big lips on purpose? You’d go, Don’t make them look too fake, right? Now I’m confused.<\/p>\n

But in any case, my rule of thumb is, if it’s bad for Madonna, it’s good for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"