{"id":2307,"date":"2009-06-17T20:51:28","date_gmt":"2009-06-18T04:51:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=2307"},"modified":"2009-06-17T20:51:28","modified_gmt":"2009-06-18T04:51:28","slug":"becoming-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/becoming-a-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Becoming a Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/chas-bono.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-2308\" title=\"chas-bono\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/chas-bono-225x300.jpg?resize=225%2C300\" alt=\"chas-bono\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/chas-bono.jpg?resize=225%2C300&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/chas-bono.jpg?w=243&amp;ssl=1 243w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I was surprised to hear that Chastity Bono is changing her gender. It&#8217;s hard for me to give up&nbsp;\u00a0 the idea that Chastity was just trying to get even with her mom.&nbsp;\u00a0 It&#8217;s harder and harder to link behavior to psychology.&nbsp;\u00a0 Now we attribute everything to genetics.&nbsp;\u00a0 Good luck, Chaz!<\/p>\n<p>Today I was telling a friend how an old Pearl Jam video aroused my lust for the young Eddie Vedder.&nbsp;\u00a0 If only he would fuck my fucking brains out! She knew exactly what I meant. We wondered if men feel like this 100 times a day. Isn&#8217;t that what &#8220;studies&#8221; say?<\/p>\n<p>I wish I could be a man for a couple of hours, just to know what it&#8217;s like. Here&#8217;s how I imagine it.<\/p>\n<p>~<\/p>\n<p>Okay, wow, I&#8217;m a guy! This is so weird. Where&#8217;s my dick? Is it okay? Is it really okay? Is it big enough? I hope so. I hope it&#8217;s bigger than every other dick, or at least not smaller.<\/p>\n<p>Oooh, there&#8217;s a chick. Look at those boobs! And she&#8217;s got a vagina! I wonder what it looks like! They&#8217;re all different, like snowflakes. I have to see as many as possible. How can I get access to that one?<\/p>\n<p>Never mind, there goes another chick. Ugh, no thanks. I hate the fat ones. Take it away!<\/p>\n<p>Hm, that guy has a nicer car. I hope my dick is bigger than his. Is my dick okay? Is it protected from everything? I wish I could feel it right now.<\/p>\n<p>Oh now, my girlfriend is texting me. Why do they always need to talk? Why do I have to listen and comment on every little thing that pops into her head! Christ. This is torture. I just want to go back to what I was doing, but she needs to &#8220;communicate.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I wonder what the score is? I wish I knew which team is ahead. Is there another guy around somewhere? He&#8217;ll know. Man, those Lakers! What a game. Too bad the season&#8217;s over, though. Wait. Is my dick okay?<\/p>\n<p>I think I&#8217;ll listen to some Clapton. Or maybe Coltrane. Boy, another beer would be great. Is my dick okay? I hope so. How can I get a blowjob? I&#8217;d give anything&#8230;.On no. It&#8217;s the girlfriend and she wants to talk. She&#8217;s ruining the Clapton solo.&nbsp;\u00a0 Damn her. I hope this will end in a blowjob. Is my dick okay?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was surprised to hear that Chastity Bono is changing her gender. It&#8217;s hard for me to give up&nbsp;\u00a0 the idea that Chastity was just trying to get even with her mom.&nbsp;\u00a0 It&#8217;s harder and harder to link behavior to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/becoming-a-man\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[8,6],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-Bd","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}