{"id":2374,"date":"2009-06-24T23:12:40","date_gmt":"2009-06-25T07:12:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=2374"},"modified":"2009-06-24T23:12:40","modified_gmt":"2009-06-25T07:12:40","slug":"i-love-your-tan-lines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/i-love-your-tan-lines\/","title":{"rendered":"I Love Your Tan Lines?!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/confession.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-2375\" title=\"confession\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/confession-258x300.jpg?resize=258%2C300\" alt=\"confession\" width=\"258\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/confession.jpg?resize=258%2C300&amp;ssl=1 258w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/confession.jpg?w=300&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 258px) 100vw, 258px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Jesus, enough with the public confessions!<\/p>\n<p>Watching the latest apology on TV tonight has been torture. Governor Mark Sanford has got to be the stupidest idiot who ever had an extra-marital affair, going on about it for a full twenty minute press conference.&nbsp;\u00a0 He really gives politicians a bad name with this kind of behavior. I was so embarrassed for him, I had to cover my face!&nbsp;\u00a0 He looked like he wanted to relive the entire thing on camera, even though he began by offering an apology to his wife and 4 &#8220;precious&#8221; sons.<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"BlogPostWords\"><em>&#8220;I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of <\/em><\/span><span class=\"BlogPostWords\"><em>the night\u2019s light &#8211; but hey, that would be going into sexual details&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"BlogPostWords\">UGH!&nbsp;\u00a0 God, sickening.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"BlogPostWords\">If I&#8217;ve said it once I&#8217;ve said it a million times: <strong>DO NOT CONFESS<\/strong>! Even if your spouse finds you in bed with someone, deny it! Bill Clinton tried to do the decent thing and lie, but no, that wasn&#8217;t okay with <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kenneth_Starr\" target=\"_blank\">Ken Starr<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"BlogPostWords\">Let&#8217;s say you know you&#8217;re not good at lying but you&#8217;re going to have an affair. Do everyone a favor and dispense with the immature<a href=\"http:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/topstories\/ci_12684612\" target=\"_blank\"> email<\/a>! I know Mrs. Sanford would rather find correspondence that got straight to the point.&nbsp;\u00a0 &#8220;It was great to fuck you, can&#8217;t wait to do it again!&#8221; would be so much easier t live with.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"BlogPostWords\">Those family values types are the worst, aren&#8217;t they? Maybe they enjoy the confessing part more than the sex part. If only they could either avoid getting caught or shut the hell up.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jesus, enough with the public confessions! Watching the latest apology on TV tonight has been torture. Governor Mark Sanford has got to be the stupidest idiot who ever had an extra-marital affair, going on about it for a full twenty &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/i-love-your-tan-lines\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5,8,6],"tags":[373,353,392],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-Ci","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2374"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2374"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2374\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2374"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2374"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2374"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}