{"id":2612,"date":"2009-07-21T21:42:39","date_gmt":"2009-07-22T05:42:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=2612"},"modified":"2009-07-21T21:42:39","modified_gmt":"2009-07-22T05:42:39","slug":"quick-name-your-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/quick-name-your-style\/","title":{"rendered":"Quick, Name Your Style!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"shopbop-categories\"<\/a><\/p>\n

God, I hate change, and now Shopbop<\/strong> has ignored the maxim “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I was perfectly happy with the website and its Dysfunctional Family of glaring anorexic models.<\/p>\n

Now, they have introduced a handy way to shop by giving you 5 style profiles. \u00a0 And I’m too paralyzed with indecision to go forward. \u00a0 Am I Bohemian<\/strong>, Edgy<\/strong>, Girly<\/strong>, Classic<\/strong> or Casual Chic<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

I’m going to rule out Bohemian. I’m pretty sure I hate that look. I’m thinking fringe, beads, caftans, headbands, horrible prints, and stuff they sell at Anthropologie. \u00a0 I even hated that shit when I was a hippie.<\/p>\n

Casual chic? As if. Girly? I can’t even walk in heels! Classic? What do they mean by that?? Classic what? Classic Secretary or Classic Hooker? That leaves me with Edgy.<\/p>\n

Please god, don’t say I’m Edgy. I know that’s not my category. I don’t have any harem pants or big clompy wedges. I don’t want a bracelet shaped like a chicken claw! Leave me alone, Edgy!<\/p>\n

I have already identified my style as Geriatric Tomboy, but they didn’t list it at Shopbop. If you have a style they overlooked, now is the time to define it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

God, I hate change, and now Shopbop has ignored the maxim “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I was perfectly happy with the website and its Dysfunctional Family of glaring anorexic models. Now, they have introduced a handy way … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2,7],"tags":[80,590],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-G8","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2612"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2612"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2612\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}