{"id":2612,"date":"2009-07-21T21:42:39","date_gmt":"2009-07-22T05:42:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=2612"},"modified":"2009-07-21T21:42:39","modified_gmt":"2009-07-22T05:42:39","slug":"quick-name-your-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/quick-name-your-style\/","title":{"rendered":"Quick, Name Your Style!"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a><\/p>\n God, I hate change, and now Shopbop<\/strong> has ignored the maxim “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I was perfectly happy with the website and its Dysfunctional Family of glaring anorexic models.<\/p>\n Now, they have introduced a handy way to shop by giving you 5 style profiles. \u00a0 And I’m too paralyzed with indecision to go forward. \u00a0 Am I Bohemian<\/strong>, Edgy<\/strong>, Girly<\/strong>, Classic<\/strong> or Casual Chic<\/strong>?<\/p>\n I’m going to rule out Bohemian. I’m pretty sure I hate that look. I’m thinking fringe, beads, caftans, headbands, horrible prints, and stuff they sell at Anthropologie. \u00a0 I even hated that shit when I was a hippie.<\/p>\n Casual chic? As if. Girly? I can’t even walk in heels! Classic? What do they mean by that?? Classic what? Classic Secretary or Classic Hooker? That leaves me with Edgy.<\/p>\n Please god, don’t say I’m Edgy. I know that’s not my category. I don’t have any harem pants or big clompy wedges. I don’t want a bracelet shaped like a chicken claw! Leave me alone, Edgy!<\/p>\n I have already identified my style as Geriatric Tomboy, but they didn’t list it at Shopbop. If you have a style they overlooked, now is the time to define it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" God, I hate change, and now Shopbop has ignored the maxim “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” I was perfectly happy with the website and its Dysfunctional Family of glaring anorexic models. Now, they have introduced a handy way … Continue reading