{"id":27,"date":"2006-02-17T17:17:48","date_gmt":"2006-02-18T01:17:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/archives\/2006\/02\/angelina-exegesis"},"modified":"2006-02-17T17:19:20","modified_gmt":"2006-02-18T01:19:20","slug":"angelina-exegesis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/angelina-exegesis\/","title":{"rendered":"ANGELINA EXEGESIS"},"content":{"rendered":"

 \u00a0\"angelina.jpg\"<\/p>\n

Whoever you are, you want Angelina Jolie. You can deny it, but you know it’s true. If you resent sharing such a popular \u00a0fantasy and wish you could resist her appeal, I’m here to let you off the hook.<\/p>\n

You can’t help wanting Angelina<\/strong>, and this is why: Man, woman, baby, mother, warrior, Angelina is all things to all people. Her body is both male and female, angular and rounded. Thin but full. If you had sex with her, you would have the thrill of a threesome without the awkward morning-after!<\/p>\n

Scientific theory maintains that women with baby faces, such as Kate Moss, who has big eyes, a small, full mouth and small nose, \u00a0are attractive because they trigger the warm protective feelings we have towards small children. Think of Bambi, or Manga characters. When you gaze at the face of Angelina Jolie, you are looking at an exaggerated baby. Look! Look at that big head and lips and button nose! It’s the cutest, biggest baby ever!<\/p>\n

Devil temptress and homewrecker, Saint and mother, humanitarian and nutcase. Angelina cannot be denied. Jen never had a prayer, did she? If Angelina were after your husband, your wife, or even your baby, you would be toast.<\/p>\n

Let’s \u00a0all give in. It’s Angelina’s world. \u00a0We’re just living in it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

 \u00a0 Whoever you are, you want Angelina Jolie. You can deny it, but you know it’s true. If you resent sharing such a popular \u00a0fantasy and wish you could resist her appeal, I’m here to let you off the hook. You … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-r","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}