{"id":3119,"date":"2009-08-31T23:17:21","date_gmt":"2009-09-01T07:17:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=3119"},"modified":"2009-08-31T23:17:21","modified_gmt":"2009-09-01T07:17:21","slug":"the-progressive-insurance-girl-why","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-progressive-insurance-girl-why\/","title":{"rendered":"The Progressive Insurance Girl: Why?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"progressive-ins-girl\"<\/a><\/p>\n

If you don’t live in the US, you may not know about this girl. She is featured in a series of TV ads from which there is no escape.<\/p>\n

At \u00a0 first glance, or if you’re deaf, you might be pleased with her retro make up. However, soon enough, the horror of her over-the-top goofiness will obliterate this asthetic appreciation. She exudes a sickening self-satisfied energy that makes me want to kill her.<\/p>\n

Here’s the problem. Apparently, you’re supposed to love her!<\/p>\n

I found this out when I googled the question, “Is Matt Taibbi gay?” I thought he might be, but I wasn’t sure. I admire everything about him, as do gay men<\/a>, I soon learned. The gays are disappointed that Matt<\/a> is straight. But on a conservative blog, someone insisted that his dislike of the Progressive Insurance Girl proves that Taibbi is gay!<\/p>\n

Am I gay, too? Matt Taibbi is on record as wanting to strangle this girl. YES, Matt, YES! Why would anyone object to such a healthy and normal reaction?<\/p>\n

This world is dangerously out of whack, that’s all I know. If you google her, you’ll see an essay <\/a>titled “The Strange Allure of the Progressive Insurance Girl.” Evidently, the whole nation has fallen for her “endearing” charm. \u00a0 God. Make it stop.<\/p>\n

It’s you and me, Matt. Give me a call.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you don’t live in the US, you may not know about this girl. She is featured in a series of TV ads from which there is no escape. At \u00a0 first glance, or if you’re deaf, you might be pleased … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5,7,6],"tags":[699,439,700],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-Oj","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3119"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3119\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}