{"id":3149,"date":"2009-09-11T21:30:00","date_gmt":"2009-09-12T05:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=3149"},"modified":"2009-09-11T21:30:00","modified_gmt":"2009-09-12T05:30:00","slug":"what-about-carol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/what-about-carol\/","title":{"rendered":"What About Carol?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I knew it would make me feel better to check in with Sea of Money and Mom. But I had no idea of the folly that awaited me there.<\/p>\n

$\"the-epic-fur-collection\"$ <\/a>
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

Sea reveals that she’s been busy “working” with the rack of furs that Mom has been buying since the beginning of the year. \u00a0 She notes of these furs that Mom “has…..curated quite the collection.<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

People, does it get better than this?!?<\/p>\n

Where I come from, this is called “hoarding” or even “stockpiling.” But now we are all curators<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

I believe I have curated<\/strong> quite the collection of jeans, since I was unable to locate my Comfortable Jeans in a timely fashion when I was anxious to get back to the hospital one day last week. I flipped through piles of folded jeans, desperately tossing them aside, and finally giving up in frustration. It was a clumsy Aesop’s fable: The woman who was stymied by her greed for jeans. I ended up settling for the awful harem pants and spent the day looking like a crazy bag lady after adding my nephew’s long, patchwork cardigan.<\/p>\n

While Sea and Mom spend their time plundering the world of its fur coats, one can’t help but wonder, What about Carol?<\/p>\n

Carol, we are worried about you. Did they put you in the attic? Are you being held hostage under a tarp in the backyard? Did they send you to a Swiss boarding school or a musty convent?<\/p>\n

You’re a person too, Carol, even if you can’t design shoes or curate hideous animal-shaped belt buckles! You matter. Let me know where you are and I’ll pick you up ASAP. You can come with me to the hospital, where nothing matters but life it self. In the end, the shoes won’t help at all. Maybe you already know that. I hope so! That would be epic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"