{"id":3193,"date":"2009-09-20T23:31:15","date_gmt":"2009-09-21T07:31:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=3193"},"modified":"2009-09-20T23:31:15","modified_gmt":"2009-09-21T07:31:15","slug":"the-joy-of-midgets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-joy-of-midgets\/","title":{"rendered":"The Joy of Midgets"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/littlekiss.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-3194\" title=\"littlekiss\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/littlekiss-300x225.jpg?resize=300%2C225\" alt=\"littlekiss\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/littlekiss.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/littlekiss.jpg?w=400&amp;ssl=1 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Last night I attended the annual <strong>Port of Los Angeles Lobster Festival<\/strong>, drawn by the promise of a KISS tribute band composed of midgets.&nbsp;\u00a0 It was a warm, humid evening, and hundreds of people wandered around happily wearing stupid red lobster hats, drinking beer and enjoying the opportunity to have a blast for only $7.<\/p>\n<p>Bikers, home-girls, dock workers, head-bangers, shirtless Samoans, old people and little kids mingled together in perfect harmony.&nbsp;\u00a0 When <strong>&#8220;Shorty&#8217;s Little Kiss Band<\/strong>&#8221; took the stage, it was a sight that brought pure joy to every face in the crowd. Raucous midgets in KISS make-up are the answer to everything! I didn&#8217;t recognize most of the songs but I figured out how to do the heavy metal hand sign and hollered appreciation with all my lung power.<\/p>\n<p>From now on, I will be proselytizing that &#8220;Midgets Set You Free.&#8221; It&#8217;s the best time I&#8217;ve had in months. You can check out some other midget acts for hire over <a href=\"http:\/\/shortentertainment.biz\/EventThemes.html\" target=\"_blank\">here<\/a> at Shorty&#8217;s Little People Talent agency.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/lobster-festival.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-3196\" title=\"lobster-festival\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/lobster-festival-300x200.jpg?resize=300%2C200\" alt=\"lobster-festival\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/lobster-festival.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/lobster-festival.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/lobster-festival.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-3195\" title=\"lobster-festival\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/lobster-festival.gif?resize=1%2C1\" alt=\"lobster-festival\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night I attended the annual Port of Los Angeles Lobster Festival, drawn by the promise of a KISS tribute band composed of midgets.&nbsp;\u00a0 It was a warm, humid evening, and hundreds of people wandered around happily wearing stupid red &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-joy-of-midgets\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[12,9],"tags":[703,702,399],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-Pv","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3193"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3193"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3193\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}