{"id":3233,"date":"2009-09-28T21:37:07","date_gmt":"2009-09-29T05:37:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=3233"},"modified":"2009-09-28T21:37:07","modified_gmt":"2009-09-29T05:37:07","slug":"you-wont-even-believe-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/you-wont-even-believe-this\/","title":{"rendered":"You Won’t Even Believe This"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let me begin with I’m Sorry, because I really am. This blog has devolved into a tale of woe that is much too personal but still not personal enough. \u00a0 Try to bear with me.<\/p>\n

I broke my fucking hip. I KNOW it’s not a good time to break my hip. That didn’t stop me. It was dark outside and I tripped and fell on the concrete driveway. I knew something was broken but I waited a few minutes before admitting that I needed an ambulance. In fact, I think I was pretty businesslike, given the pain and horror.<\/p>\n

A broken hip hurts so much, you have no idea until you have one. It is agony. For the first couple of hours, I begged everyone not to hurt me. “Please don’t hurt me!” and “Please don’t let anyone hurt me!” over and over. An ER nurse named Debbie<\/strong> and an ex-ray guy<\/strong> did their best to help. Thanks Debbie and ex-ray guy!<\/p>\n

The ER doctor<\/strong> told me that I needed surgery. When I pleaded with him, he told me that it was a really “bad” break and that’s why my leg looked “two inches shorter than the other one.” I still don’t know what he was talking about but he gets zero points for bedside manner.<\/p>\n

I will try to cut to the chase. It’s five days later and I’m home. The pain is still off the chart but I’m supposed to try to keep moving. I think there are nails and screws in my hip\/leg but oh well.<\/p>\n

I will let you in on a little secret. All anyone cares about in the hospital are bowel movements. People want you to have one. Patients in other rooms are desperate to have one. I had a little notice board in my room with a list of 3 goals for the day. \u00a0 Bowel Movement was number 3, after Reduce Pain and Try to Move.<\/p>\n

I hope that no one reading this ever has to endure a broken hip, even if I hate you. Please be careful! Take calcium, too. \u00a0 Max is doing well and I told him that lots of people were sending prayers and Good Thoughts. I know I can count on you to keep up the good work for him while I recover. xo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"