{"id":3249,"date":"2009-10-02T21:45:06","date_gmt":"2009-10-03T05:45:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=3249"},"modified":"2009-10-02T23:37:58","modified_gmt":"2009-10-03T07:37:58","slug":"poor-biggie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/poor-biggie\/","title":{"rendered":"Poor Biggie!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/biggie-smalls-the-illest.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-3250\" title=\"biggie-smalls-the-illest\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/biggie-smalls-the-illest-150x150.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"biggie-smalls-the-illest\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/biggie-smalls-the-illest.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/biggie-smalls-the-illest.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>My leg with the broken hip is now swollen beyond recognition. It still looks like a leg, just not mine.<\/p>\n<p>When I had trouble getting it up on the bed, I spoke to it aloud, offering encouragement. It seemed to respond. So I&#8217;ve named it <strong>Biggie<\/strong>.&nbsp;\u00a0 If you look at this picture of Biggie, imagine the puffiness transposed to a leg and voila, that&#8217;s what it looks like. Even my foot is fat and puffy, like the foot of an enormous baby.<\/p>\n<p>Naturally, I have named the other leg <strong>Tupac<\/strong>. Respect.&nbsp;\u00a0 Here, enjoy the horror of my incision.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/stapled-incision.jpeg\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/stapled-incision.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-3263\" title=\"stapled-incision\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/stapled-incision-150x150.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"stapled-incision\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/stapled-incision.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/stapled-incision.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/stapled-incision.jpg?zoom=3&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 450w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s another smaller one a few inches down, but I don&#8217;t want anyone to accuse me of being too gory.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My leg with the broken hip is now swollen beyond recognition. It still looks like a leg, just not mine. When I had trouble getting it up on the bed, I spoke to it aloud, offering encouragement. It seemed to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/poor-biggie\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5],"tags":[709,710],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-Qp","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3249"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3249"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3249\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}