{"id":325,"date":"2007-04-28T18:24:07","date_gmt":"2007-04-29T02:24:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2007\/04\/28\/trapped-in-a-body\/"},"modified":"2021-10-24T14:36:06","modified_gmt":"2021-10-24T21:36:06","slug":"trapped-in-a-body","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/trapped-in-a-body\/","title":{"rendered":"Trapped in a Body"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been fascinated by the news that L.A. Times sportswriter Mike Penner<\/a> has announced his plans to become the woman he was always meant to be. She will be called Christine Daniels, and she will continue to write the column after a brief hiatus.<\/p>\n

Mr. Penner told his story in a graceful column addressed to his readers, who must have been astonished. He explained that \u2018tests\u2019 have confirmed he is \u2018wired\u2019 as a woman. I searched for a photo of Penner, just curious to see what he looks like , but I couldn\u2019t find one. As we know, he could be a burly 6’7″ and still be a woman trapped in a man\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

Personally, I am trapped in a body, but I\u2019m not sure how to express my situation. I used to feel like a brain trapped in an extraneous body that was just a source of annoyance or misery. The body was lousy at sports and kind of awkward in general. On occasion, I still hit myself in the face with my handbag when I try to throw it in the back seat. In my teens, the body seemed too fleshy, so I got anorexia and starved it. It still took up too much space, in my unbalanced thinking, but eventually I snapped out of it.<\/p>\n

Now that I\u2019m, ahem, over forty, my body is a model of entropy. It is crapping out at an alarming rate. This week it\u2019s my lower back, last week my fucking bladder. The migraines are much better but the hot flashes are no bargain, and my chiseled abs are a faint memory, like the name of that Kurt Vonnegut book I was trying to recommend to my kid the other day.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, I\u2019ve come upon a new theory of my entrapment. Maybe I\u2019m a gay man trapped in a woman\u2019s body! It makes a lot of sense. I love the company of gay men, who are witty, playful, bitchy, culturally literate and obsessed with fashion. I hear that some gay men don\u2019t have these qualities, but that\u2019s their problem. Anyway, my husband once told me that I had a gay sense of humor, and this was supposed to be an insult. On top of that, I love the Wizard of Oz , Prince,\u00a0\u00a0 Six Feet Under, Paul Smith, biker boots, David\u00a0\u00a0Beckham,\u00a0\u00a0leather, and kitsch art.<\/p>\n

I might really be on to something here. I do like to wear sexy lingerie, but that doesn\u2019t contradict my theory, right?\u00a0\u00a0 The only stumbling block is that according to tests<\/a> I\u2019ve<\/em> taken, my brain is wired as female in the extreme. Very high in empathy, very low in systemizing. I\u2019ve called this syndrome \u201cGirlie Brain.\u201d<\/p>\n

Girlie Brain sounds kind of gay though! Oh well. Stand by for more research.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"