{"id":3557,"date":"2009-11-23T00:28:42","date_gmt":"2009-11-23T08:28:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=3557"},"modified":"2009-11-23T00:28:42","modified_gmt":"2009-11-23T08:28:42","slug":"scumbags-douches-and-jerks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/scumbags-douches-and-jerks\/","title":{"rendered":"Scumbags, Douches and Jerks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tonight, some friends and I were discussing some mutual acquaintances. It emerged that there was some confusion about how to categorize certain types of men we disdain.<\/p>\n

To me, a Douche is instantly recognizable as such. He doesn’t have to exhibit any behavior; he’s just a Douche. Sometimes a Douche can increase his douchiness by bad behavior, like John Mayer<\/strong>, but usually it’s a done deal. Keith Urban<\/strong> is a Douche.<\/p>\n

So is Pete Wentz<\/strong> and David Duchovny<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Joe Perry<\/strong> ( as per this photo from the American Music Awards show) is a Scumbag.<\/p>\n

$\"joe-perry\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Whereas, Steven Tyler<\/strong> is a Douche. \u00a0 Snoop Dogg<\/strong> = Scumbag. Mickey Rourke<\/strong>, another Scumbag.<\/p>\n

Trying to think of a Jerk, my first thought was Levi Johnston<\/strong>, god bless him. \u00a0 Jerks are more innocent than Scumbags or Douches. I even think that a Jerk could be reformable; he could wise up, theoretically anyway. Douches and Scumbags are lost causes.<\/p>\n

I used to be able to explain the difference between a Tool and a Jerk, but I honestly can’t remember the criteria. All I remember was that some guy named Jason<\/strong> (who happened to be a fishmonger) was a complete Tool.<\/p>\n

Where do you stand on these categories, and who do you think best epitomizes a Douche, Scumbag, Jerk or Tool?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"