{"id":362,"date":"2007-06-04T16:31:28","date_gmt":"2007-06-05T00:31:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2007\/06\/04\/mtv-movie-awards-2007-exegesis\/"},"modified":"2007-06-04T16:31:28","modified_gmt":"2007-06-05T00:31:28","slug":"mtv-movie-awards-2007-exegesis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/mtv-movie-awards-2007-exegesis\/","title":{"rendered":"MTV Movie Awards 2007 Exegesis"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"imagelink\" title=\"j-depp.jpg\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/06\/j-depp.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"image361\" height=\"96\" alt=\"j-depp.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/06\/j-depp.jpg?fit=640%2C96\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>If you missed the MTV Movie Awards because you had to watch <a href=\"http:\/\/www.hbo.com\/sopranos\/\" target=\"_blank\">The Sopranos<\/a>, here are the main points.<\/p>\n<p>Johnny Depp! Johnny was adorable, beyond yummy, despite his funny grunge outfit and that praying-hands thing he does. He is the shiz, and don\u2019t argue with me.<\/p>\n<p>Sarah Silverman was vulgar and proud of it, as usual, and I hate her. Whenever I see her described as \u201cthe beautiful Sarah Silverman\u201d I flip out. The low forehead, the big nostrils, the dyed black hair, ugh. It\u2019s not enough to be offensive, you should actually be funny. Make her go away!<\/p>\n<p>Sasha Baron-Cohen was irreverent and gave you your money\u2019s worth when he kissed Will Ferrell. Posh Beckham looked like a midget hooker, whereas Jessica Biel looked like a hockey player in a shroud-like mini-dress.<\/p>\n<p>Amy Winehouse was fabulous in every way. She looked like a little stick with a huge beach ball balancing on her head, but I love her to death and can\u2019t get enough of her. Go to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/results?search_query=amy+winehouse&#038;search=Search\" target=\"_blank\">youtube<\/a> and watch her sing&nbsp;\u00a0 if you haven\u2019t fallen for her yet.<\/p>\n<p>Paris Hilton was upset when that mean ugly Sarah Silverman dissed her, so she left the show and went to jail a day early. Some black girl sang a song, dressed like a dominatrix, but my husband was messing with the new remote so I didn\u2019t hear it. Cameron Diaz&nbsp;\u00a0 looked&nbsp;\u00a0 like a sausage squeezed into a tiny black mini-dress, designed to prove to Justin that he shouldn\u2019t have dumped her.<\/p>\n<p>Dane Cook was awful and needs to die. Shia Le Bouef did something, but I don&#8217;t know what because I had to watch The Sopranos (which was an exciting bloodbath.)<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s it, until next year! Let me know if I forgot something.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you missed the MTV Movie Awards because you had to watch The Sopranos, here are the main points. Johnny Depp! Johnny was adorable, beyond yummy, despite his funny grunge outfit and that praying-hands thing he does. He is the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/mtv-movie-awards-2007-exegesis\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,8],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-5Q","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/362"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=362"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/362\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}