{"id":3910,"date":"2010-01-17T23:57:11","date_gmt":"2010-01-18T07:57:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=3910"},"modified":"2010-01-18T13:26:26","modified_gmt":"2010-01-18T21:26:26","slug":"golden-globes-2009-exegesis-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/golden-globes-2009-exegesis-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Golden Globes 2009 Exegesis"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/nicole-kidman-nipple-dress.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-3911\" title=\"nicole kidman nipple dress\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/nicole-kidman-nipple-dress-226x300.jpg?resize=226%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"226\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/nicole-kidman-nipple-dress.jpg?resize=226%2C300&amp;ssl=1 226w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/nicole-kidman-nipple-dress.jpg?w=580&amp;ssl=1 580w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 226px) 100vw, 226px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>If you missed the Golden Globes Awards, you didn&#8217;t miss much, but here are the highlights:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Nicole Kidman<\/strong> wanted to show off her nipples. Why, I have no idea. She appears to have lost her mind or her bathroom mirror. Remember when she dazzled us with her fashion choices at the Academy Awards? Maybe <strong>Tom Cruise<\/strong> was her stylist!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Monique<\/strong> gave a fabulous acceptance speech that made me want to be a big Black woman. She totally rules. Did you know she does stand up comedy for woman in prison? God bless Monique.<\/p>\n<p><strong>James Cameron<\/strong> was King of the World again, and gave a cliche-ridden speech that fooled no one. The man is a fucking cunt, and that&#8217;s that. I don&#8217;t know how <strong>Kathryn Bigelow<\/strong> keeps herself from killing him.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Colin Farrell<\/strong> was yumminess incarnate. <strong>Daniel Day Lewis<\/strong> looked good, too, and so did <strong>Robert Downey Jr<\/strong>. <strong>Jeff Bridges<\/strong> has morphed into Kris Kristofferson, and <strong>Somebody Reitman<\/strong> looked angry all night, except for when he won something.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Chloe Sevigny<\/strong> was punished for wearing a ridiculous see-through dress when someone stepped on her train and ripped it! What a moment! She managed to recover after a flash of rage, but it would have been classier if she&#8217;s ripped the rest of the dress before accepting her award.<\/p>\n<p>What else? <strong>Jodie Foster<\/strong> looked so hot, you could hear the crowd gasp in surprise. <strong>Meryl Streep<\/strong> brought tears to everyone&#8217;s eyes when she talked about loss and gratitude. <strong>Jennifer Aniston<\/strong> nearly flashed her Female Area, and her nose seemed smaller than ever.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica Lange<\/strong> displayed her tragic facelift, while <strong>Harrison Ford<\/strong> had trouble moving his face. Everyone wore conspicuous little ribbons signifying Support For Haiti, which were nicely set off by the emeralds and diamonds. <strong>Ricky Gervais<\/strong> was a saving grace, telling the audience: &#8220;Speaking of plastic surgery, I&#8217;ve had a penis reduction. Now I have just the one.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Did I forget anything?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you missed the Golden Globes Awards, you didn&#8217;t miss much, but here are the highlights: Nicole Kidman wanted to show off her nipples. Why, I have no idea. She appears to have lost her mind or her bathroom mirror. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/golden-globes-2009-exegesis-2\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,8],"tags":[746,654,579],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-114","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3910"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3910"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3910\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3910"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3910"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3910"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}