{"id":407,"date":"2007-07-03T21:23:45","date_gmt":"2007-07-04T05:23:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2007\/07\/03\/there-goes-barneys\/"},"modified":"2007-07-03T21:55:37","modified_gmt":"2007-07-04T05:55:37","slug":"there-goes-barneys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/there-goes-barneys\/","title":{"rendered":"There Goes Barneys"},"content":{"rendered":"

When my friend Tim<\/a> informed me that Barneys New York has been bought by an investment arm of the Dubai government, I was very upset. It\u2019s not like Barneys will only sell burkas from now on, but somehow it feels like a betrayal on the part of the Jones Apparel Group, who accepted the offer of $825. Couldn\u2019t Salma Hayek get that billionaire boyfriend<\/a> to buy it for her, since he already runs Gucci, YSL, Balenciaga, etc. etc.? Where\u2019s Salma when you need her?<\/p>\n

I probably won\u2019t stop going to Barneys, but I think I know what the Brits felt like when Harrods was bought by Mohamed Al Fayed<\/a>. I guess it\u2019s kind of xenophobic, which isn\u2019t a good thing. I didn\u2019t even know about the huge statue of Dodi and Diana that Mr. Al Fayed wanted to perch \u00a0atop the roof of Harrods. He ended up putting it inside, near Door 3. It\u2019s called \u201cInnocent Victims.\u201d Even if it\u2019s true they were both cokeheads, I believe in their victim hood.<\/p>\n

If Salma had bought Barneys, she could have commissioned a statue of Frida Kahlo for the roof! What a wasted opportunity. If I could buy Barneys, I wouldn\u2019t change a thing, although wait, I would change a thing here and there. I\u2019d make those aggressive people in the cosmetics department scale back their attack. I\u2019d have a bigger lingerie department. That\u2019s it, I think. I wouldn\u2019t need to erect a shrine there, although last week I heard that I just missed the Olsen Twins as I was leaving Barneys in Beverly Hills. Maybe a bronze statue of the Olsen Twins would be nice, holding up their gigantic handbags.<\/p>\n

I once heard that in Dubai, you can buy burkas by Chanel. The cloth has little embossed Chanel logos that you can barely see, but who wants an old generic burka if you can pay an extra thousand dollars for Chanel?<\/p>\n

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