{"id":4391,"date":"2010-03-18T00:22:13","date_gmt":"2010-03-18T08:22:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=4391"},"modified":"2010-03-18T00:22:13","modified_gmt":"2010-03-18T08:22:13","slug":"the-face-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-face-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"The Face Problem"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/mackenzie-face-problem.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4392\" title=\"mackenzie face problem\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/mackenzie-face-problem.jpg?resize=445%2C344\" alt=\"\" width=\"445\" height=\"344\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/mackenzie-face-problem.jpg?w=445&amp;ssl=1 445w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/mackenzie-face-problem.jpg?resize=300%2C231&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 445px) 100vw, 445px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>When I saw this picture today, showing <strong>Mackenzie Phillips<\/strong>&#8216; new face, I was so excited that I sent the link to my BFF.<\/p>\n<p>Apparently, Mackenzie&nbsp;\u00a0 spent $50,000 on the new face, for laser resurfacing, cosmetic dental work, botox, etc etc. Look how much younger her face looks! See how full and fresh it looks, compared to the other face, which is clearly thinner and droopier! I felt a deeper sense of urgency about injecting my face full of Restylane and Sculptra. Not now, of course, but as soon as I can somehow get my hands on a spare thousand dollars or two.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine my horror to discover that the face on the left is the OLD face! The new one is on the right, with the darker hair.<\/p>\n<p>What the fuck is going on here?!? Somebody owes that poor woman an apology and $50,000.<\/p>\n<p>I wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Is there any way that we can see our own faces objectively?<\/p>\n<p>One of my nephews once concluded after seeing<strong> <a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/imgres?imgurl=http:\/\/www.realself.com\/files\/u3066FayeDunaway2.jpg&amp;imgrefurl=http:\/\/www.realself.com\/blog\/faye-dunaway-cosmetic-surgery&amp;usg=__ikdV54piF8Dil36O2Os8ynT8tsc=&amp;h=282&amp;w=468&amp;sz=30&amp;hl=en&amp;start=10&amp;um=1&amp;itbs=1&amp;tbnid=bIwwf05U50b04M:&amp;tbnh=77&amp;tbnw=128&amp;prev=\/images%3Fq%3Dfaye%2Bdunaway%2Bplastic%2Bsurgery%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1R1GGLZ_en___US357%26tbs%3Disch:1\" target=\"_blank\">Faye&nbsp;\u00a0 Dunaway<\/a><\/strong> on TV: &#8220;It&#8217;s better to let nature fuck your face up than to do it artificially.&#8221;&nbsp;\u00a0 Amen. I only hope I can remember that if I ever get rich.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I saw this picture today, showing Mackenzie Phillips&#8216; new face, I was so excited that I sent the link to my BFF. Apparently, Mackenzie&nbsp;\u00a0 spent $50,000 on the new face, for laser resurfacing, cosmetic dental work, botox, etc etc. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-face-problem\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,8],"tags":[575,781,579],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-18P","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4391"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4391"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4391\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}