{"id":472,"date":"2007-09-05T16:05:57","date_gmt":"2007-09-06T00:05:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2007\/09\/05\/owen-wilson-boo-hoo\/"},"modified":"2007-09-05T16:05:57","modified_gmt":"2007-09-06T00:05:57","slug":"owen-wilson-boo-hoo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/owen-wilson-boo-hoo\/","title":{"rendered":"Owen Wilson: Boo Hoo"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"imagelink\" title=\"poor-owen.jpg\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/09\/poor-owen.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"image473\" height=\"96\" alt=\"poor-owen.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/09\/poor-owen.jpg?fit=640%2C96\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s so funny about Owen Wilson\u2019s suicide attempt? I\u2019m not sure, but an ABC news anchor couldn\u2019t stop <a href=\"http:\/\/www.stuff.co.nz\/stuff\/4191135a5620.html\" target=\"_blank\">laughing<\/a> when she had to report it.<\/p>\n<p>Is it because Owen Wilson is such a jerk? Or because he is so privileged that the idea of his \u2018pain\u2019 just seems ludicrous? Is it his nose, or his hairdo?<\/p>\n<p>Two of my friends dismissed my guilt for not caring about Owen Wilson by refuting my weak claim that He is a person, after all! Apparently the consensus is, no, he isn\u2019t. What I\u2019m wondering is, where are his band-aids? His wrists appear to be in perfect shape, as seen in some blown-up paparazzi photos. Where are the cuts, Owen? Did you even break the skin?<\/p>\n<p>People who want to end their lives should jump out of windows or go visit Phil Spector. Poor Owen has only increased his problems by acting like a pussy (with all due respect, or course.) There are loads of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wired.com\/culture\/lifestyle\/news\/2003\/02\/57444\" target=\"_blank\">suicide chat-rooms<\/a> he could have logged&nbsp;\u00a0into for some decent advice. There, he could have found support and suggestions for how to \u2018take the bus,\u2019 or whatever term for death they\u2019re using now.<\/p>\n<p>Until someone tells me a good Owen Wilson joke, here\u2019s mine. Owen Wilson goes into an emergency room, and the doctor says, Why the long face?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What\u2019s so funny about Owen Wilson\u2019s suicide attempt? I\u2019m not sure, but an ABC news anchor couldn\u2019t stop laughing when she had to report it. Is it because Owen Wilson is such a jerk? Or because he is so privileged &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/owen-wilson-boo-hoo\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[4,8],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-7C","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=472"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}