{"id":479,"date":"2007-09-10T23:42:49","date_gmt":"2007-09-11T07:42:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2007\/09\/10\/its-not-porn-its-hbo\/"},"modified":"2007-09-11T15:18:55","modified_gmt":"2007-09-11T23:18:55","slug":"its-not-porn-its-hbo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/its-not-porn-its-hbo\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s Not Porn, It’s HBO Porn"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cTell Me You Love Me\u201d follows the dirge-like unhappiness of three couples, who should all be shot, in my humble opinion. Two of the wives look like Sheryl Crow, and all three of the men are required to exhibit their balls, for some reason. While I\u2019m sure that\u2019s a treat for some viewers, I found myself dreading each succeeding sex scene. Are testicles the new black this season?<\/p>\n

I wondered aloud why the show wasn\u2019t considered porn, but then I remembered that HBO\u2019s mandate is to be Not TV. That used to mean boldly original, back in the day. Now, it just means icky night-time soap opera.<\/p>\n

Here I was so relieved to be through with \u201cJohn From Cincinnati,\u201d and look what I get! A bunch of dreary couples who can\u2019t get along with or without sex, who are traumatized by masturbation and Tampax. Tonight\u2019s opening episode ends with the 150 year old marriage counselor in bed with her amorous white-haired husband, who looks like he\u2019s just wandered in from a Viagra ad. As her head moved down his body, I screamed and covered my eyes.<\/p>\n

If they did anything involving his balls, I don\u2019t want to know. I think a better name for this series would by \u201cThe Horror of Intimacy.\u201d Be warned.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"