{"id":5083,"date":"2010-05-22T21:57:57","date_gmt":"2010-05-23T05:57:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=5083"},"modified":"2010-05-23T11:26:23","modified_gmt":"2010-05-23T19:26:23","slug":"the-land-down-under","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/the-land-down-under\/","title":{"rendered":"The Land Down Under"},"content":{"rendered":"

While searching for dreadlock remover (imagine a little sad-face thingy here) I came across this wonderful product<\/a> for use Down There.<\/p>\n

“Rid yourself of the unwanted grays and give hair down there a beautiful boost of color that’s destined to brighten up more than your smile.<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

Now my only problem is deciding between Black Cherry or Midnight Blaque. I’m leaning toward the latter because of the spelling. The hair on my head, or Up There I should say, is really dark brown, not technically Blaque. I don’t want to give anyone a fright.<\/p>\n

The Down There business is topical because I had coffee with my sister today and complained about the word “rump<\/strong>.” I read in The Cut<\/strong><\/em><\/a> that Kate Moss<\/strong> shows off “her rump” in a new video. I was so upset by this usage that I nearly fired off a letter to the editor. Why “rump” for godsake? Can’t they say “ass” or even “butt” or in the worst case scenario maybe “backside?”<\/p>\n

Then we moved on to the word “tush<\/strong>” which also annoys me. When I discovered that there’s actually a song called Tush, I nearly had a stroke. Now there’s a magazine called Tush. It’s a word to use with a two year old, like pee pee, but then it should be dropped asap.<\/p>\n

Anytime I hear the term Down There, I think it bespeaks a revulsion for sex and body parts. The GiGi color product manages to add an Australian slant by calling this crap “Color Down Under.” Here’s an idea! Next time you hear someone use the term Down There, scream: “Where, Australia?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"