{"id":5355,"date":"2010-07-02T20:53:47","date_gmt":"2010-07-03T04:53:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=5355"},"modified":"2010-07-02T20:53:47","modified_gmt":"2010-07-03T04:53:47","slug":"real-lesbians","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/real-lesbians\/","title":{"rendered":"Real Lesbians"},"content":{"rendered":"

I didn’t watch The L Word<\/strong>, but The Real L Word<\/strong>, a new show<\/a> about Real Lesbians, is providing plenty of excitement at my house. My husband finds it for me on the Showtime channel, and I sit back and talk to the TV for the whole 30 minutes.<\/p>\n

My favorite Real Lesbian so far is Whitney<\/strong>, a tough white girl with dreadlocks who acts just like a horny stud. She insists that she’s a slave to her “chemistry” with nearly every woman she meets. She keeps saying “chemistry” like it’s a scientific fact and an iron clad excuse for making out with someone. “I have to admit there is chemistry,” she confesses to a needy girl in a bar who wants to know where they stand. In short, Whitney is just a dude whose balls will explode if you deny him sex.<\/p>\n

I also like Mikey<\/strong>, a swaggering blond hipster who can’t get over her own awesomeness. She revels in telling us how stressful her high-powered job is. She loves to boss people around and flaunt her tattoos.<\/p>\n

The only time I’ve had to scream out loud was when Tracy<\/strong> revealed the names of her girlfriend’s three children: Nickos<\/strong>, Daughtry<\/strong> and Jagger<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Why isn’t there a fine for saddling your children with awful names? I don’t think I could even be friends with someone who would name their kid ‘Daughtry’. Some things are unforgivable.<\/p>\n

As long as the Real Lesbians don’t make me watch them have sex, I’m in. I don’t plan to follow their blogs or tweets, or to buy their special Lesbian iPhone App, but I like all the posturing and soul-searching and unusual facial piercings. I’m also convinced that if Whitney met me, she’d feel the chemistry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"