{"id":5399,"date":"2010-07-08T02:54:17","date_gmt":"2010-07-08T10:54:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=5399"},"modified":"2010-07-08T02:54:17","modified_gmt":"2010-07-08T10:54:17","slug":"do-you-want-to-be-a-pony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/do-you-want-to-be-a-pony\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Want to be a Pony?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/two-stupid-ponies.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-5400\" title=\"two stupid ponies\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/two-stupid-ponies-298x300.jpg?resize=298%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"298\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/two-stupid-ponies.jpg?resize=298%2C300&amp;ssl=1 298w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/two-stupid-ponies.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/two-stupid-ponies.jpg?w=325&amp;ssl=1 325w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 298px) 100vw, 298px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Neither do I!&nbsp;\u00a0 But a whole lot of people are working hard at this very moment to perfect their gait and spruce up their saddles in preparation for some exciting &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.maximumawesome.com\/pervfriday\/ponypeople.htm\" target=\"_blank\">ponyplay<\/a>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Why am I the last one to find out about stuff like this?? My husband showed me an article in the <strong>LA Weekly<\/strong> about a 50 year old woman who dresses up like a pony and makes a good living at it. She goes to crazy pony events where ponies and masters hope to hook up, and others where the ponies compete for awards.<\/p>\n<p>Listen, I understand role-playing. Naughty schoolgirl, fine. Cantering around with a bit in my mouth and a tail in my butt, I&#8217;m just not feeling it.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/pony-hooves-for-crazy-people.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-5401\" title=\"pony hooves for crazy people\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/pony-hooves-for-crazy-people-300x196.jpg?resize=300%2C196\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"196\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/pony-hooves-for-crazy-people.jpg?resize=300%2C196&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/pony-hooves-for-crazy-people.jpg?w=704&amp;ssl=1 704w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Here are some hooves you can buy&#8230;.&#8221;Nice look, clip-clop sound when used on the floor.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What the fuck is wrong with people, you know? Life is so difficult and complicated and so easy to screw up, why try to live it as a fake pony?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Neither do I!&nbsp;\u00a0 But a whole lot of people are working hard at this very moment to perfect their gait and spruce up their saddles in preparation for some exciting &#8220;ponyplay.&#8221; Why am I the last one to find out &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/do-you-want-to-be-a-pony\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[9,5,7],"tags":[642,294,851],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-1p5","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5399"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5399"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5399\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}