{"id":562,"date":"2007-10-26T14:53:28","date_gmt":"2007-10-26T22:53:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2007\/10\/26\/are-you-worried-about-angry-monkeys\/"},"modified":"2007-10-26T14:53:28","modified_gmt":"2007-10-26T22:53:28","slug":"are-you-worried-about-angry-monkeys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/are-you-worried-about-angry-monkeys\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Worried About Angry Monkeys?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"imagelink\" title=\"mean-looking-monkey.jpg\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/10\/mean-looking-monkey.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"image561\" height=\"96\" alt=\"mean-looking-monkey.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/10\/mean-looking-monkey.jpg?fit=640%2C96\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been worried ever since that <a href=\"http:\/\/www.whattofix.com\/blog\/archives\/2005\/08\/monkey_attack.php\" target=\"_blank\">birthday cake chimp attack<\/a>, so it&#8217;s good to have some advice on this subject. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.slate.com\/id\/2176419\/nav\/tap3\/?GT1=10538\" target=\"_blank\">Slate<\/a> tells us how to behave around an angry monkey, but I think the first step is to avoid <a href=\"http:\/\/ap.google.com\/article\/ALeqM5ibxYf1Ttv4oCHi0HZwdHoow7ouwQD8SDM5680\" target=\"_blank\">New Delhi<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And of course, if an angry monkey approaches you, don&#8217;t make eye contact and don&#8217;t smile. Kind of like when you&#8217;re in an elevator or&nbsp;\u00a0at Neiman Marcus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been worried ever since that birthday cake chimp attack, so it&#8217;s good to have some advice on this subject. Slate tells us how to behave around an angry monkey, but I think the first step is to avoid New &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/are-you-worried-about-angry-monkeys\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[5,8],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-94","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/562"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=562"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/562\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}