{"id":5849,"date":"2010-09-17T03:06:30","date_gmt":"2010-09-17T11:06:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=5849"},"modified":"2010-09-20T01:54:43","modified_gmt":"2010-09-20T09:54:43","slug":"meet-monique","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/meet-monique\/","title":{"rendered":"Meet Monique"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/that-bitch-monique-at-Seas-house.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-5850\" title=\"that bitch monique at Sea's house\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/that-bitch-monique-at-Seas-house.jpg?resize=504%2C321\" alt=\"\" width=\"504\" height=\"321\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/that-bitch-monique-at-Seas-house.jpg?w=504&amp;ssl=1 504w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/that-bitch-monique-at-Seas-house.jpg?resize=300%2C191&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 504px) 100vw, 504px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Remember an avid <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">troll<\/span> commenter called <strong>Monique,<\/strong> who returned again and again to let me know what a stupid and pathetic untalented jealous loser I am? Remember when&nbsp;\u00a0 she passed on a message from her friend <strong>Gretchen<\/strong> that &#8220;my cunt is full of sand?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Well, now it is my privilege to introduce the camera shy Monique R, pictured above sharing a toast with her friends <strong>Sea<\/strong>, <strong>Platinum-Hair Girl<\/strong> and a young man named <strong>Fred<\/strong> who favors wacky hats.<\/p>\n<p>When she isn&#8217;t flaming bloggers who make fun of Sea, Monique likes to take photos and hang out at bars to watch guys dancing in their underwear.&nbsp;\u00a0 She protects her tweets, perhaps because she knows that people could come along and join a malicious hatemail campaign against her, AT ANY MOMENT!<\/p>\n<p>Look how happy Monique is, dining with her idol, rubbing elbows with the social gentry, perhaps comparing funny hats with that guy Fred.&nbsp;\u00a0 What made Monique go all rabid and ballistic when I teased Sea? Why was Monique so relentless and below the belt?<\/p>\n<p>People are so fucking weird. They are truly unfathomable. I am learning this every day. Some of them need to be kept safely at a distance. Some will come at you only when they smell blood. The new <strong>Gentler Sister Wolf<\/strong> does not advocate any nasty comments designed to upset Monique. Instead, maybe we can help her explore her fanatical fealty to Sea, or her delusion that she &#8220;knows&#8221; me from looking back through the archives here.<\/p>\n<p>I know you are an aspirational type, Monique. Screeching online about a strangers vag is not the way to social success, unless Dallas is much weirder than I imagined.<\/p>\n<p>But I forgive you. You&#8217;re just out of your element.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Remember an avid troll commenter called Monique, who returned again and again to let me know what a stupid and pathetic untalented jealous loser I am? Remember when&nbsp;\u00a0 she passed on a message from her friend Gretchen that &#8220;my cunt &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/meet-monique\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[9,2,554,6],"tags":[814,881,882],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-1wl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5849"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5849"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5849\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}