{"id":611,"date":"2007-11-28T20:12:39","date_gmt":"2007-11-29T04:12:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2007\/11\/28\/daddy-issues\/"},"modified":"2007-11-28T20:12:39","modified_gmt":"2007-11-29T04:12:39","slug":"daddy-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/daddy-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"Daddy Issues"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a class=\"imagelink\" title=\"nice-daddy.jpg\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/11\/nice-daddy.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" id=\"image612\" height=\"96\" alt=\"nice-daddy.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/11\/nice-daddy.jpg?fit=640%2C96\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>How many times have you listened to a female friend lamenting about the asshole who mistreats her?&nbsp;\u00a0 Often, there will be a whole string of assholes, all who treated her like shit, but held some addictive power that made her keep calling him.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, these women have Daddy Issues. Not just the usual Daddy Issues, but rather the Issues you get from a Bad Daddy. Every girl needs approval from Daddy, in order to grow up feeling worthy and lovable. Daddies, if you reject your daughter, she will grow up to be a Needy Doormat or a Self Destructive Whore. It\u2019s just that simple.<\/p>\n<p>The woman who can\u2019t give up on a man who clearly doesn\u2019t value her affection is a woman who needs Daddy to assure her that she\u2019s his special girl, after all!&nbsp;\u00a0 A Nice Daddy to call when you\u2019re feeling lonely and bad-about-yourself would soothe the nerves like a nice shot of methadone, only better. A comforting chat with a Nice Daddy would leave you feeling adored and validated, with no down-side at all.<\/p>\n<p>I would like to set up a service that many women are desperately longing for, even though they don\u2019t know it yet. Kind of like the ipod, but not. A call to 1-800-MY-DADDY would connect you to a menu that offers a selection of Daddy Voices, and the Daddy you select will praise you for up to five minutes.<\/p>\n<p>I personally would like a Daddy Voice that sounds like Cary Grant. My own daddy has a nice voice, but of course he\u2019d just be undermining and withholding. Those women with Alcoholic Daddies might want a Daddy who slurs his words, who knows. Anyway, you could either have a pay-per-call plan, or if you need constant praise and reassurance like many women do, a monthly plan would be more economical.<\/p>\n<p>The Nice Daddy will be there for you, whenever you feel an urge to call some bastard who\u2019s already proven to be incapable of intimacy, fidelity, or paying back the money he owes you. He will call you a genius, and he\u2019ll say that even though you look a little thin, you could be Miss America!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How many times have you listened to a female friend lamenting about the asshole who mistreats her?&nbsp;\u00a0 Often, there will be a whole string of assholes, all who treated her like shit, but held some addictive power that made her &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/daddy-issues\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[9,6],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-9R","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=611"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=611"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=611"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}