{"id":6232,"date":"2010-11-05T00:14:16","date_gmt":"2010-11-05T08:14:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.godammit.com\/?p=6232"},"modified":"2010-11-05T00:14:16","modified_gmt":"2010-11-05T08:14:16","slug":"this-is-my-process","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/this-is-my-process\/","title":{"rendered":"This is My Process"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/LiyuLiubo-flaming-bed.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-6236\" title=\"Liyu&amp;Liubo flaming bed\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/LiyuLiubo-flaming-bed.jpg?resize=400%2C320\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/LiyuLiubo-flaming-bed.jpg?w=400&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/godammit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/LiyuLiubo-flaming-bed.jpg?resize=300%2C240&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>First I blamed the feckless girlfriend. Then I blamed the pain doctor for prescribing all those opiates. Then I blamed myself for not hiding them better. Then I blamed the doctor who told him to amputate his leg. Then I blamed my self for not finding a surgeon who could offer a&nbsp;\u00a0 better prognosis. Then I blamed the doctors who didn&#8217;t notice the abnormal bone growth. Then I blamed myself for not getting him out of that fake hospital sooner. Then I blamed the first surgeons who didn&#8217;t care about his complications. Then I blamed the rehab facility that threw him out instead of accepting the negotiated fee from the insurance company. Then I blamed his father for screaming at him when he got thrown out. Then I blamed myself for taking him to the rehab place. Then I blamed myself for letting him go to spend one night at a sober house. Then I blamed the rehab place for not letting me know he was withdrawing from benzos and might be feeling psychotic. Then I blamed myself for not intuiting it. Then I blamed the lawyers for dropping the lawsuit against the rehab place. Then I blamed Social Security for denying him disability benefits. Then I blamed myself for not knowing the girlfriend was crazy. Then I blamed myself for going out to dinner when he was secretly planning to die. Then I blamed myself for not treating his depression when he was a little kid. Then I blamed my mother for having me so I would end up having him and then failing him.<\/p>\n<p>Then I blamed him for not saying goodbye to me or taking me with him. Then it starts all over again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>First I blamed the feckless girlfriend. Then I blamed the pain doctor for prescribing all those opiates. Then I blamed myself for not hiding them better. Then I blamed the doctor who told him to amputate his leg. Then I &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/godammit.com\/this-is-my-process\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[376,321],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7t44M-1Cw","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6232"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6232"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6232\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}