{"id":706,"date":"2008-02-01T18:59:06","date_gmt":"2008-02-02T02:59:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/godammit.com\/2008\/02\/01\/bummer-for-the-middle-aged\/"},"modified":"2008-02-01T18:59:06","modified_gmt":"2008-02-02T02:59:06","slug":"bummer-for-the-middle-aged","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/godammit.com\/bummer-for-the-middle-aged\/","title":{"rendered":"Bummer For The Middle-Aged"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s miserable to be middle-aged, according to a new study<\/a> of two million people in 80 countries around the world. How can I say DUH<\/strong> loud enough?<\/p>\n

The researchers examined data on depression, anxiety and general mental health, and found that well-being \u00a0 bottoms out at around age 48 \u00bd, on average. But the lows vary among different countries. \u201cHappiness continues to fall for American men until about age 53.\u201d<\/p>\n

I am struck by the poetry of the words \u2018happiness continues to fall.\u2019 It\u2019s so true.<\/p>\n

The good news is that the sense of well-being tends to go up again after age 60. The stormy part is over, according to this study.<\/p>\n

If by \u2018stormy part\u2019 they mean the part where you start wanting a face lift and you\u2019re thinking about shit like bone density and why you can\u2019t read the fine print even with your glasses on, I\u2019m glad to know it passes. I assume the part where you don\u2019t even know whether you have to pee or not also passes, along with the loss of your memory and your ability to bite into an apple without dreading a dental emergency.<\/p>\n

Old age is probably very nice if the only other prospect is death. A recent government report<\/a> revealed that suicide among the middle-aged has risen twenty per cent since 1999. I predict it will keep rising. Middle age is torture. There is nothing good about it. But everyone who decides to stick \u00a0around will find that life isn\u2019t nearly long enough, not when you still want to figure stuff out.<\/p>\n

If I can make it to 70, I plan to be one happy old bag. I\u2019ll probably dress like Cher, since that\u2019s where I\u2019m heading already. And I’ll taunt those 50 year olds without mercy!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"